Hey Josh

Well I can totally undrstand Karenna’s postion dr..been dr fr a LOOOoooong tym…believe me,I WAS, as Josh puts it, over committed..especially wd d frns part f it..i used to be always makin plans and doin stuff wd frns, bt aftr a certain period, wn i entered Uni, i strtd to hav lil less tym fr dm, and it lead to lota probs btween us–> stress..TILL d tym i made it clear dt i need my own tym and space to do my own stuff too..basically, i realised my goals..and my aim..and all dese issues strtd feelin so petty..look at d Bigger picture grl!..u got a lot to achieve in lfe!and u have to be stress FREE to do dt!..take all d unecessary things out f ur head and prioritise all dt needs attention..school, frns, sports, boys..I hav a firm belief in DAT….coz ever since i hv strtd my singing classes i feel a lot more useful!..and i love sketching and dese r d things i do wn i need to REFRESH myself and Feel GOOD bout my own self!..Indentify ur talent and polish it!..coz dt is something no1 can take away frm u and something u cn be proud of ..it l be a stress buster and giv u an awesome confidence boost..ul shoo away stress in no tym , u see.. all d best !! =)

Josh’s advice is sound on this one, for the most part.

As an introvert, I learned the how important it is to have “alone time” in high school. High school bring a lot more freedom, and therefore a lot more free time, which then turns into more time with your friends, which turns into less time to get work done and take care of yourself.

What Josh missed that caught my eye:

“with my friends its like they all think im self centered cuz im not being as much of a push over as i was before”

You, and I’m guessing most of your friends, are around 16 years old. Whether you want to admit it or not, you’re a raging sack of hormones. Those hormones are telling you to change how you’ve been acting and stand up for yourself, which is FLIPPIN’ AMAZING!
Don’t let your friends get you down on this one. If they can’t deal with you not being a pushover, then get some new friends. The ones you have now probably aren’t worth your time. Easier said than done, I know, but still totally possible. You don’t want to spend your next 3 years in high school with people who you are constantly butting heads with.

I know life seems like it sucks sometimes, but I promise you, you can make it through this. Just hang in there.

You said your feeling stressed and depressed all the time– if you’re really depressed, not just sad or frustrated, you absolutely need to make some changes right away. you’ve gone beyond overcommitment, and you’re headed for burnout, breakdown, etc. Not pretty. Take it from me, I did waay too much the first few years of high school. Recently I actually mastered the technique of saying no– harder than it should have been, for me at least. I also, like nandita said, started polishing my talents. But before I managed to figure that out, I experienced some major burnout which is, believe me, something you want to avoid. Take care of youreself and your health first, cause if you don’t it wont matter if you get straight A’s, have the most friends, and are the best at everything. Less abstract advice: look into stress reduction techniques, like deep breathing, muscle relaxation, etc. If you don’t have time to add another thing to your schedule (like yoga) these are really easy stress reducers that work to actually control the hormones and stuff that build up in your body when your stressed.

Hey, Karenna! I’m in the same boat you are, more or less. I’ve got acne problems, but I don’t really care about that. If I get judged for my facial appearance, then they don’t deserve my friendship. All of my friends say I’m a great guy. They don’t care how I look, and I’m okay with that. You should be okay with how you look as well. Make up is just a cover up. If you want your face to be acne free, wash it. Take care of it. Now, for grades, that was never a problem for me and might not ever be one. However, I know plenty of people out there that do have grades as a problem, and from what I read, you do have a problem with grades, but here’s the deal, if you work hard, you’ll do fine. There are plenty of people out there that work hard and still don’t get the grades they expect. But that’s okay. So long as you get higher than a D, you’re in the clear. C is still a met, unless you’re like my teachers who won’t accept anything under a C+ :/. ‘Tis no problem for me, however, because my grades are B+ to A+ range. See, there are people who try hard and don’t achieve, like I explained, those who try hard and do achieve, the kind of people you should aspire to be unless you are the last type, people who can not try at all and still succeed, my type. I’m not here to boast about this, it’s just something I’m good at. And that brings me to a word I had above. Success. If you can find something you’re good at and continue to work with that and do well, and possibly at the same time work at the things you’re not so good at, in my book, you’ve succeeded, but just because in my book you succeed, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t succeed in your book. What you think about yourself is more important than what I think about you. So, find your definition of succeed. Talk it over with a counselor maybe. Succeed. And for the boys part, don’t let us scare you . Some are jerks and know it. The others are jerks that don’t realize it. And then there’s the special group that are just good guys. If you can, try to find those in that category. Assess their personality. Do they seem like a good person? If so, talk with them. Get to know them. You’ll find out the truth of them soon enough. It’s up to you to make the decision after that. My advice, if it’s a great guy, try your luck with a boyfriend or just settle for friend. If he turns out to be a jerk, well… I guess you can ditch him. And down to the stress part. I’m stressed. Yes, I will admit it. I’m a freshman in high school and possibly the most stressed person of all my classmates, ranging from preschoolers to seniors. I have a job. That takes up most of my time when out of school. You’d think so if you knew my schedule.

School (8:00-3:15); Rest (3:15-4:45); Work (4:45-9:00); Rest (9:00-1:00); Sleep (~1:00-7:30); Repeat.

Day is full. But I compensate that with internal schedules. I have a schedule for school work, rest, and work. I keep track of everything I’m going to do. It sure builds stress if you don’t know how to handle it. So here’s a tip, find time for yourself. If you can, find time off work. Ask for a vacation. (Not possible in my case, but then again, that’s only for those IN my case.) For school work, work first, then play. Don’t put it off unless you know you will have time (If you’d like advice on procrastination schedules, email me). Stress can really mess up your life if you can’t learn how to cope with it. My life has been stressful since I can remember. I just learned to deal with it. It slowly sunk in to my habits and I can easily handle stress now. I’m not saying having a lot of stress is good. It can lead to bad habits a lot. Many a teen go bad when they get overly stressed. So my advice is that stress is okay, but you need to learn how to relieve it. Think of it as a gas canister. It fills up slowly, and can burst if you don’t release it. If you can manage to release all of your stress and maintain that, that’s great! But if you’re like me and constantly build up stress regardless, find hobbies or other interesting things (for me computers and books) to relieve stress. Remember, life is full of stress.

Here’s a quote I made up: Stress is a part of life, so live with it.

Hope I helped (and didn’t stretch this on too much ),
James Nhan