Hey Josh

So, my question to Angela is, do you need to define what you and your boyfriend have? Is it important to put your feelings for eachother under the category “Yes we are in love”? or are you fine with knowing that the feelings you have for one another can’t be defined and our special between you two, and no definition is required? I’m not being mean all I’m saying is that if you have the feelings who cares about what name you give them as long as you have them.

Angela,

What is love? Well there are different types of love. There is love when everything is new and special, there is love when you have that deep connection. But the thing about love is you cannot specifically define it. Try not to worry so much about calling it a specific thing. You know what you feel and that’s what is important. If you feel like you are in love then you are. There aren’t any set of rules that say when you are in love and when you aren’t…don’t try to dissect it, just listen to how you feel. Then you will know if you are in love. I hope that helps.

Jaime

I agree with Jaime in that there are different types of love. Taking a good old page from the Greeks, you could define love as family love, friend love, romantic love, etc.

Call me a hopeless romantic, but I’m going to have to say that if you need to ask if it’s love or not, then it’s probably not. Doesn’t mean it couldn’t grow to that, but I’m a pretty firm believer in a defining moment, a turning point in a relationship where you know without a doubt that you love someone. And it also doesn’t mean you’ll always be “in love” cause obviously sometimes you’ll be “in hate” but it means that “through it all I’m there for this person and they’re there for me” and that I believe is love.

If you think it’s love, call it love. Relationships are hard enough as is–don’t stress about whether you’re using the right word or the wrong word.

Hey Angela,

It’s Josh. I got some advice from my FaceBook friends for ya too. Here’s what they had to say…

Alex Decker at 1:27pm February 16 via Facebook Mobile
Love is the gassy feeling u get after eating mexican food. which is why statistically more people lose their virginity after eating taco bell than any other fast food restaurant. scientific fact.

Jamie Lee Ward at 1:28pm February 16
Love is knowing that no matter what you will always love one another, putting everything judgemental aside and loving them for them. But you also have to love yourself at the same time. It’s a good time for self discovery. But it’s mainly,and this was how it was for me, about finding that special someone that you just can’t get enough of.

Selena Stallmer at 1:41pm February 16
Well, according to dictionary.com,
Love –noun. A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

and Merriam-Webster says;
Strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties.

But my deffinition would be;
Love- That feeling you get when you catch a glimpse of the person you long for, where you lose your breath and everything around you seems unreal, and time seems to freeze; where those few seconds in time seem like an eternity.

Melissa Sexton at 1:44pm February 16
1 John 4:8 says GOD is love.

Hannah Fregoe at 1:46pm February 16
Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it’s what you are expected to give. Which is everything.

Love is being a servant to someone and expecting nothing in return.

Love is not a “mushy gushy” feeling, but a decision to be selflessly caring for another.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage.

Love is the wild card of existence.

Darron Kitterman at 2:33pm February 16
“Not even death can stop true love…” – The Princess Bride.

Love is a battlefield.

“Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know that we cannot live within.”

- James Baldwin

Love isn’t something that you necessarily have to put a name on. My suggestion would be to get to know each other, even more. Don’t worry about if it’s love or not just yet. When it’s love, there is no question or wonder in your mind. Just keep building your relationship until you know you’re at that point.

I don’t think you can ever truely define what love is. But I always try to think about it like this…

Would you still want to be with the person you “love” if you could not physically touch them? If even holding hands was an impossibility, would you still want to be with them? There definitely must be some sort of love present if you say yes.

Love is sacrifice. As a Catholic, I believe the greatest love story of all time is contained in a tiny white host.

I’m going to be straight forward, love is a complicated thing. Simple as that, when your in love you’ll know it. But its all about the way you feel, and if you truly know that this person is the one. Then… most likely he/she probably is “the one” but love is different for everyone. just, go with the flow and see what happens give it some time and you’ll know.

Love is happiness.
Have you ever seen those snoopy calendars that say, “Love is…” ? Each month has a different Love is…like, Love is eating fast food. Love is walking hand in hand. Love is eating chocolate mind fudge (!)Go out and get that calendar. It really helped me shape my definition of love.

If you have to ask, it’s not love. That would be my advice. I think when you are in love you will know this thing you feel is more powerful than simply an emotion. Love is a choice. You feel something, but you have to choose to devote yourself to your loved one. Even when you aren’t getting along, you have to be willing to work it out, and not give it up. Would you die for your boyfriend? What if you just found out he had lied to you about something big? If you’re willing to sacrifice everything about yourself for another, you probably love them.

Love is pretty much impossible to define because there are infinitely many ways to define it. The easiest way I can describe love is being completely comfortable around that person no matter what, and knowing that you’d do nearly anything that person asked of you, and vice versa. Love is not being able to imagine life without that person.
And about how to tell whether or not you’re in love…I used to always ask my mom how she knew when she first realized she was in love with my dad. And she always gave me the same answer, “You just know.” That used to make no sense to me. Just last week my boyfriend and I celebrated our 1 & 1/2 year anniversary. I’ve realized that my mom is right; there is no sure way of knowing you’re in love, but I just know I am. It’s hard to explain, but gradually in the beginning of our relationship I realized that this one was completely different and without even really realizing it, I fell in love. I know it makes no sense, but when you’re in love you’ll just know.
Hope this helps!

Is so easy to feel like you are in love, and there is a definet posibility you are, but there is a real difrence between love and a great relationship. And it can start out as a good thing, saying”i love you” , but then it become to much and they are going to far. Love sometimes for guys open doors you dont want to walk through. Also its hard to say i love you one day and when you want to break up with him, or him with you, its so much harder to deal with. You never want to beak some ones heart.
The bottum line is that love is an unneeded thing to determine, just tell him you like it the way it is, and you dont like labeling it anything other than special.
hope this helps you, best of luck!

Thank you guys sooooo sooo much. It’s amazing how many people commented on this. I really liked the advice! Unfortunately, like any other high school relationship it ended but it ended mutually and we’re still friends. I’ve learned a lot from it, and from you guys. again thanks for everything!!josh ur awesome by the way

Maybe I’m not one to talk as I’ve been labeled a cynic. Yet I don’t believe that it is quite accurate. I just find it ridiculous that people believe stories about two people falling so desperately in love with each other in a matter of weeks that they live miserable lives without that person. Love takes time. If you fall in “love” in three weeks, you’ll get over them. It may take time too. But it’ll be before you’re eighty. Probably. People just need to chill about that.
To explain further: My point is that you can fall in “love” in three weeks but it has to keep growing.
True love takes time.
like+lust=”love”
but
acceptance+time+knowing and still adoring the other person and their faults= true love.
Its more complicated than just knowing each other and liking the person. You can’t be truly in love with someone until they have shown you their true self, they won’t do that in three weeks. The whole “honeymoon period” has to be over. Plus in one year your brain stops producing that one chemical that makes you feel “in love” and thats when the true test comes. Cuz after a year you have to work on getting that feeling and know that you really are dedicated to that person and that you want to be with them even when they are old and wrinkly and you have to spoon feed them pureed food. Using the Lword too soon happens too much. I don’t necessarily get upset about it, because I think most people will find ways to work out their issues with each other and could make it to the big time. But everytime you say it it makes it less valuable. And I think its more than just stating your feelings, when someone tells you they love you it also SHOULD mean that they are dedicated to you and only you and aren’t interested in anyone else and don’t think they will be ever again. (Of course feelings change, but when that commitment goes away so should the “I love you”s and the relationship.) Hence, why I have a problem with people saying it after two or three weeks. They aren’t really ready to make that commitment. They couldn’t possibly be. They haven’t seen the real person behind the persona, three weeks is an easy time to put your best foot forward all the time. The more time is spent, the harder it is to hide your faults, flaws, weird habits, etc. The only way to say “I love you” is to love the entire person; flaws, faults, and quirks included (or despite). I just think once people say I love you to someone they really need to be in it for the long run. They have to truly dedicate themselves to making that relationship work and most people aren’t willing to give up that much in 3 weeks. And if they are, its a bit sketchy.
Of course there are special rare circumstances and I do think that almost any relationship can be worked out IF both sides are willing to commit entirely. But if they aren’t, its not gonna work in the long run.
I do think most any two people can work out but it might not be best for them. Especially if they rushed into things. I just think taking it slow is best. Maybe just for me. But I bet there would be a lot less divorces if people actually thought about what they were doing instead of going with what movies had brainwashed them to think- that love can happen in an instant and finding your “true love” doesn’t take time. but it does. IMHO.
Hope that helped in some way. No need to rush things, you have forever.

love is simply love. There really is no right or wrong love except for an abusive relationship. In other words there are in fact different types of love like brotherly love, bff love, blinding love, etc. but love isn’t just “ohhh i love you” smuthering the other person with kisses. It means that you can talk, argue, and have fun with them whenever you’re around. But for you and you’re boyfriend love should be just a little more than what i just mentioned you might get this feeling around them that you could might as well EXPLODE. And when you’re away from them you might feel that loneliness because they aren’t with you. Sorry to tell you this little bit but it usually happens in full after a long time depending on how much time you spend with that person

So while other people are saying love is hard to define and what not below, and that’s true. From the I see it your still in the puppy love phase of the relationship where everything is new and you get the butterflies when you’re with them. My advice… what a few more months for that new exciting phase to were off and see if you both still feel the same about each other, theen you know your in love.

Angela,
You should probably give it a little more time before you say it’s love. Most people don’t actually know what love is. Sorry to tell you that, but it’s true. Love is a strong connection between people, if you think it’s very strong, then it very well could be love. Hope that helped a tiny bit in any way!

Angela,
I’m 15, in a stable relationship with my boyfriend of almost 6 months, we believe we are in love, no one can really tell you that you are in love or not. Only you know exactly how you feel! If you two feel your in love, then your in love!

Angela,

love is one of those things that no-one will ever agree on a definition of. its that feeling you can’t name. that thought you can’t define. its the sharpest contrast between Utopian happiness and hell-borne pain. im a strong believer in it- and all i can tell you, is that love is what makes you really really happy (even if sometimes it also makes you really really miserable). if your boyfriend makes you the happiest person you can be- chances are, you love him. whether or not you guys stay together into marriage or into parenthood or until the rest of your lives (or simply until the end of next month) isn’t completely about whether or not you guys love each other, or are in love, its about how hard the two of you are willing to work to make a life, or a month, together.
in short… (shorter)… hold on to the happiness, and work hard at keeping it that way for everyone and yourselves.

love is an action that results in a feeling not the other way around you will get into troulble following feelings they are fickle love: is doing the most beneficial thing for that person at that time. that is so for any type of relationship thats how you walk in love

Ok yea I was totally like you once… It’s totally frustrating, but my whole problem was I wanted a clear cut defintion of what love is and when I finally got my awnser, lets say I wasn’t too pleased… So I will give you the awnser. Love is a deep caring feeling that is different for everyone… Oh, Great I’m a genuis, right??? So not, I’m the kind of person who needs a book defintion for everthing… and lets just say that’s to broad for me. If you and this guy think that this attration is real… I’d say go with it and only time will tell if this feeling is truely love or not.

I think love is putting someone else’s happiness before your own. Love isn’t about saying “I love you” 5 millions times a day, hanging up the phone last (or first, in my case.), or even the flowers, the candy or the little knick-knacks you get now and then. For me, love is still getting those butteflies back like the first time you saw him, only 3 years later. Love is just being happy when your with said someone. =]

There is a famous saying, “Love is the belief that some else’s happiness is more important than your own.” We like people for there qualities, but we love them in spite of their falts. This does not mean that you should stay with him even if he beats you sensless every day and calls it love. It simply means that you shouldn’t break up with him because he likes a different color Gator-aid…I’ve seen it happen.
The real question here is, is it love or infactuation? Infactuation is a strong thing and can last a very long time. It is the a srong physical and sometimes mental attraction to someone, and can be misconstrude as feelings of love. These feelings often appear quickly and for no apparent reason. This is not love! Love develops slowly and patiently, it trakes time! There is no such thing as love at first sight, that is infactuation.
The best way to tell if it’s really love is not to look at the romantic aspects of the relationship, but the unromantic ones. For instance, are you friends as well as partners? Can you carry on a decent conversation with out commenting on how cute he looks with his new hair-do? How well do you work together? These are the foundations of a good relationship, so don’t just base it on a deep connection.
Finally, just have fun! Love will make it’s presence known in due time, don’t drive yourselves crazy trying to figure it out!

What is love?
Baby don’t hurt me
don’t hurt me
no more.

Angela,

I see it this way. You can love lots of people (dont take that the wrong way ). Love (in your instance) is quite simply when two hearts connect and the owners of said hearts are drawn together in a way that is hard to describe. Look deep into each others eyes. That look will say a lot.

The fact that you are discussing this says a lot. You are connected enough to talk about something like this. To talk about the meaning of love says that there is more to your relationship than just looks or lust. Lastly if you miss them when you are not talking to them and you are happy beyond words when you are with/talking to them then it may be love. From what you say I think there is a chance that you may be in love but that is up to your heart…listen to it.

i personally have felt this plenty of times, but the best advice i can give is just try not to rush it.I mean if u rele love someone its not something u have to question, and nobody can rele give u an answer to the question wat is love. That is something that only you can answer.

p.S i know this is gonna sound generic but listen to your heart…most of the time it points u in the right direction.

I had the same problem, but it was when I was a lot younger the you are lol. My guess is that you’re a little on the shy side, so you become freinds with shy people. And shy people don’t get you far. What I’m saying is, try starting good confersation with someone who isn’t ’shy’ and try to keep it on a deep topic that you both pretty much agree on. I hope I was some help to you!

Love. Websters defines it as:

1 a (1): strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (2): attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3): affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests b: an assurance of love

Along with many other definitions, but we won’t get into that.

Now, it says that you admire each other and have strong affections for each other. And from what I read, you have that.

So, by dictionary definition you have Love.

But, you have to think. My parents taught me that to love someone is to be ready to give up everything for that person anytime and anywhere.

They also taught me that marriage, if you’re going that far , is a partnership. You have to be willing to sacrifice everything for that person. You will never leave or give up on that person.

If you want to find out if you’re in love by my and my parents’ definition of love, think about this:

You’re married. You’re going through a financial depression. You both have low paying jobs with long hours. You barely make enough to get food for the month. You have three kids who eat a lot and do nothing to ease the burden of providing for the family. Think of how you would feel.

Okay, now think of this: both of you just lost your jobs. How do you feel now? You’re offered a better life by another man. He attempts to woo you with his high paying job.

Would you leave him for a better life?

Now, I know what the human mind is like. You’re thinking “No, I won’t leave him, I love him.”

Neither of us can know what you’ll think until you’re truly in that situation. All you can really do is think about it as honestly as you can, unbiased.

Would you leave him? The only way to find out is to either know you will, or take the risk and find out if you won’t.

I think that love is just another word for an emotion that we show to oneanother and we tell the other person that so we show our affection.

Hey, I’m sorry it ended… but I just wanted to put my two cents in. A lot of people said, if you have to ask, then it’s not love. Maybe some people have radars that tell them when a new feeling matches up with a word we toss around a lot… i’m not one of those people, and I think asking is perfectly valid. I say that for some of us, if you aren’t willing to ask, that’s when you know it isn’t real.

If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don’t have it, no matter what else there is, it’s not enough. Why love, if losing hurts so much? We love to know that we are not alone. This is what I think about love.

hey i think love is when you know you never want to be with anybody else and you know you can stay committed to the relationship with that one person!Me and my boyfriend went through the same thing! and we both know that there is nobody else in the world we would rather be with!