Hey Josh, How do I deal with grief?
Hey Josh,
I’m sure there are a lot of people who go through this, and this is why I ask for advice, not just for myself, but for others as well.
In this past sophomore year, I have seen nine people die–four due to health conditions, three to suicide, and two to reckless behavior [rest in peace]–and right now I’m finding it very hard to deal with.
Grief is really hard to understand, and I’m at a point where I cannot handle anything. I know it’s different for many people, but I want to know what are some good ways to cope? Life changes, but death doesn’t. How do you say goodbye to people who had so much more to accomplish?
Angela
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Dear Angela,
Sorry to hear that you’ve lost so many people. That is a bummer and I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for you.
I don’t claim to be a grief expert, but here is what I do believe:
1. When people die, it hurts. Like really hurts. That’s okay and normal. Give yourself time to grieve.
2. You need to talk to someone about how you’re feeling. It just flat out helps you deal with the pain. Don’t try to carry it all by yourself. Find a friend, teacher, or relative that you trust and be honest about what’s going through your mind. Openly talking about the pain/anger/sadness/frustration/confusion you’re feeling will help you work through those emotions.
3. Don’t try to forget about the person to block out the pain. Instead, think about the good times – what they taught you and how they impacted your life.
I was just talking to my friend about this very topic today and the thing she said that stuck with me is “life is short, life is precious.” Nuff said.
In your face, but on your side.
// josh
2 Comments
Dear Angela.
Just as Josh said, I agree, I am not a expert on this topic but because of my recent experiences I think I can try to give out my advice.
Just recently I came to college.
Just transitioning from High School to College can be quite the experience. wether it be positive or negative its still an experience.
In just this last Semester, I have had three very close people die.
One being of my best friend in High school. Drunk Driving accident. no she wasn’t driving.
Another friend dying because of cancer.
and the last one was of my Foster Sister being murdered.
I understand that this may not sound helpful but I am trying.
I honestly thought the world was going to end because it seemed just after I was “getting over” my first friend passing away, bam wam! it hit me like a semi, just like the one that hit my first friend.
Life constantly test you. I honestly Don’t know what to say to help you through the hard times, or anyone on that matter, but only to say that try to keep your head up and try to stay positive. I know…. trust me I KNOW exactly how that can be very hard, challenging, and seems to be impossible.
But it is
I promise. I am sorry for your losses, I know how your feeling, I personally am trying to deal with my foster sister dying.
It only happened 2 and a half weeks ago.
Have you ever thought of meditation. I have learned my newfound friend, meditation has started to help me. I wouldn’t know if that would help but that is another way that I have learned to deal with grief and loss.
In addition to what Josh said, a way to help is to think of the positive things that you had with these people. Think of all the fun times, and keep your chin up. it
will help. Promise
‘Smile through the hardest of times, it helps’
Michael.
Holy cow. Both of you guys have been through a lot. like, really. I’m kind of speechless. Wow.
So, like everybody else, I’m no grief expert. I can’t tell you the exact things to think about, or exactly what you’re going to go through.
What I can tell you is what I’ve seen. Since December, 3 student at my old highschool have died. One from a rare heart condition he didn’t know he had, one swept out to sea in the middle of the night, and one to suicide. When I went back to visit my highschool, I was awed. I had never seen it so quiet, but I had also never seen so many people band together to support each other. The sense of community there was like nothing I had ever seen.
So I guess where I’m going with this is that people dying sucks. A lot. BUT, talking with others help, and as weird as it sounds, some good can come out of such a bad thing.
Hang in there you two.