Hey Josh, I’m Being Called a Freak
So, ummmm….Hey Josh?
I don’t really know who you are and what you stand for, but I looked at some of your advice and it looks pretty solid so now I have a pretty big question for you.
This girl at my school really loves herself and hates me for some reason. I’ve never done anything to her (at least not intentionally) but she calls me a freak. She doesn’t call it to my face but she tells my friends, her friends, and anyone else she knows not to hang out with me because I’m a freak. We don’t run into the same social circles and I barely talk to her, but she constantly refers to me as a “goody two-shoes” and says I rig all of the school events. I’m sick of it. I love myself as a person but it still gets old and I don’t want total strangers to think the things she says are true.
So, how do I defend myself? I have friends so I’m not alone but still. What is up?
She’s not a model but she’s decent so no one can say she’s jealous. She comes from a good family, she’s financially supported, so what could I have done? I want her to confront me and stop calling me a freak in private. I don’t want to make enemies but I won’t deal with trash-talking. I’ve tried to confront her but she won’t let me get a word in and her friends get in my face.
A little help? What’s your take?
Holly
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Yo Holly,
Welcome to Hey Josh. Here are my thoughts:
Numero Uno: This chick is intimidated by you. (What? Who me?!? I’m not intimidating?!?) Uhh, you may not understand why, but my guess is that she is. Maybe you’re ok with being yourself and maybe she isn’t. Or maybe you are better liked by someone she wishes liked her. Maybe you are awesome at Guitar Hero IV and her? Not so much.
Numero Dos: You should say something to her. Not in a “hey, I wanna knife-fight you” sorta way but in a “hey, I don’t know what I ever did to you but may I ask why you talk about me behind my back?” sorta way. And try to find a time when she isn’t surrounded by all of her friends. Chances are she’ll be shocked that you actually said something to her and hopefully it’ll shut her down.
Remember old-school Mario Brothers? There were these ghosts in the game that chased you. That is, until you turned around and faced them. Don’t get the Mario reference? My apologies.
Numero Tres: In life some people will like you and some won’t. Those who do? Cool. Those who don’t? Cool.
In your face, but on your side,
// josh
2 Comments
Hey, I know how you feel. I’m not the jock athlete of my school. A lot of people make fun of me behind my back, but I don’t care. I am who I am and if they don’t like it, tough. Some of the reason is because, as Josh said, they are intimidated. Or perhaps they are jealous of me. Why? Well, they know my parents own a restaurant (the most famous Chinese place in my town) and that I’m just naturally really smart. So, them, being not as smart or have parents with an awesome restaurant, make fun of me for having these things. I just ignore it. Who cares what they think about me? You shouldn’t care what that chick thinks about you either. And if it ever gets to be too much, do something about it. If she ever gets physical or passes your boundaries, let her know. But don’t let her know you were the one behind the scenes. Pull some kind of sly prank on her, but don’t, for the love of God, tell anyone you were behind it. Humiliate her, but be careful. Don’t get caught
I know this probably won’t be viewed the same by everyone, but that’s just what I’d do. The way I see it, if you show her that every time she does something to you (direct or indirect) then something will happen to her. She’ll learn to leave you alone.
If you can, ignore it. Remember, only do what I said if she goes too far. Telling someone else will only make it worse if she finds out. She’ll just spread more rumors about you. If you ignore it, chances are, they’ll stop. If you ignore it, as said by lots, bullies will stop. They get no fun out of it. So don’t give them squat unless they go too far.
Also, a nice punch to the nose helps sometimes. Especially if you can’t find a way to pull off a good old fashioned revenge prank.
punching in the nose= not okay. If you break her face, you will look like the lame one. Everyone who hears her talking down about you knows that she is.
my two cents are that you should try to kill her with kindness. Compliment her. When other people say something about her in a convo, start saying good things about her. Build her up every chance you get.
It may sound like the nicey nice thing to do, but it’ll confuse the heck out of her.