Hey Josh, Should I Give Up Dating?
Hey Josh,
So I was writing to tell you this dilemma I have…I had a pretty bad relationship. My first boyfriend ever was a jerk the whole way through and manipulated me which pretty much embittered me towards guys. I am still attracted to them, of course, but I have made a decision not to date because of it.
My friends all think I’m being too dramatic and hasty, making that decision at 16 before ever really giving guys a chance, so now I’m not sure what to think about my choice.
Am I choosing the right thing or should I give guys another try? I don’t know if I am just being logical or trying to shut guys out to keep from getting hurt again. Will you please help me?
Thanks,
Jalayne
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Dearest Jalayne,
You might want to have your friends start calling you Sister Jalayne because your career path is heading towards being a nun. (Nuns are the ones who don’t date, right?)
Man, I loved Sister Act II. That Whoopi Goldberg is something else. Pardon me.
I think you’re being a tad over zealous. But it’s natural to swing to the opposite side when you’ve been burned. Remember when you swore off Mexican food because of what it did to you that one time? Exactly.
My advice: Date again. But learn from your past. You are now wiser, more cautious, and know what you’re looking for. (By the way, you should be picky! You shouldn’t settle! You deserve that.)
I shall close with the wise words of the American Rejects, “Find a man that’s worth a D@#% that treats you well.”
In your face, but on your side,
// josh
8 Comments
Don’t quit guys because of a bad apple, Jay.
Trust me.
Just because one guy is a jerk doesn’t mean they all are.
Ever heard that qoute by Monroe?
“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they go right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart, so that better things can fall together.” -Marilyn Monroe
I think she’s spot on
Just because one guy is a jerk don’t mean you should give up. Be picky about who you trust. Learn from your mistakes. Find someone that you know is actually good at heart.
Don’t be afraid to be slow about things.
There’s no need to rush.
But giving up on guys completely is, well, flat out stupid.
I know it sounds rude, but it’s true. O:
Good luck~
so the way i see it is that yeah, everyone has there good points. you need to go on your own speed, well thats the way i see it, don’t give up for good, but get to know yourself and what you really want, you can’t love anyone till you love yourself!
The book When God Writes Your Love Story, by Eric & Leslie Ludy, really helped me. I highly recommend it. Personally, I think you should have a relationship with God first, before you ever think about dating guys. You must understand that guys are not be perfect, they simply will not live up to your highest expectations, but God does and He loves us beyond our comprehension. I’m not saying you shouldn’t date, just that you should put God first. He has the perfect man already picked out for you, and he will write an amazing love story for you in His own time.
Yo Jalayne,
Your friends are right. You’re 16 years old, and whether you believe it or not, are a raging mess of hormones and emotions.
My suggestion: don’t date anybody until you think you should. Wait for that right guy to come along and really woo you, or sweep you off your feet, or whatever. You learned your lesson once already. Hopefully now you won’t stick with him if he’s a jerk or manipulative or whatever. dating people, particularly in high school, is all about living and learning. Learning what to do, what not to do, what you like and don’t like, all of that.
So don’t swear off boys. Just because one guy was a jerk doesn’t mean we all are.
Thanks guys! I’ll try to consider all of those things. You all have really good points. I think maybe I will try the whole guy thing again, but maybe this time just be more cautious…And, Eodell, I in no way meant that all guys are jerks, so sorry if it sounded like that!
Jalayney-lane, do not let anybody force you back into dating before you’re ready to. If you really honestly decide to never date again, then okay! But you don’t have to make a decision now that even when your in college you won’t date… people change. Either way, your best friends will always support you.
My gf ws exactly like u she dated three guys and they try to use her innocent personality she says sry like every sentence vulnerable and extremely kind
we met on school trip and by the way the way u think of guys that’s what I thought of girls too they r just weird faker but anywho we met on trip and I get to know her:) and we r like madly in love:)
anywho if the guy really likes u he will not like touch u or ask her his house in first date and of course he has to pay whole date if not probably he’s cheap bastard trying to use u probably gd luck and never give up and comment about nun that offended me bc I’m Christian and nuns are dedicating their life to god so plZ be careful about that.
Thanks
John
Thank you, John, that helps a lot! And I am a Christian as well, so I take those things into consideration. And thank you for your perspective. I’ve gotten better about letting people in lately, and I’ve thought about what you said. Guys aren’t all like that, so maybe I will try again later. Right now, I am working on me.
Good luck to you and your girlfriend!
Those words helped more than you know.
Jalayne