Hey Josh

Kelly-

Drinking is like smoking, in the context of being in an ‘altered state of mind.’ If you’re smoking & you dont want him to drink he’s not going to listen to you because you smoke, almost hypocritical in his eyes.

My advice- kick the smoking yourself, then ask him to quit his drinking. Note though, that you cannot make someone change unless they want to change them self. Its hard to act as bystander when someone you care about is destroying their life.

I wish you luck with your endeavor just know its going to be extra hard because you two are in a romantic relationship, feelings are going to get hurt & things are going to get ugly- well that was my experience anyways. Hope this helps…

he has to want to change and see he has a problem

Try showing him these few videos, I don’t know what to personally Say but this is what I found and I hope it helps.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdyTJ5axWXI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Zo-f5ZsKGQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYjrxFMssR8

Tell him that for every drink he has, you will not see him for an entire hour. (Yeah. I thought a day was too much , you can do a day though) Also, for every time he refuses to drink, you’ll spend an extra hour with him.

Or some other things. You can reward him for every GOOD choice he makes.

Also, you should drop the smoking. It took me two years to convince my parents to stop smoking :-/ I just hope it doesn’t take you that long to quit. It’s a hard thing to do once you become addicted, but if you really want to and get help from other people, I’ll bet you can do it.

Make it a team effort to quit your addictions together, sometimes it’s easier to quit something when you’re not alone and have a support system. Maybe he’ll realize how serious this is if you’re offering to give up smoking! It will be good for your health too.

Hoping that he kicks the drugs & alcohol and you kick the smoking habit! =)

first of all hello there kelly…

ok now… well drinkin.. its a problem which is sometimes started at a young age… as in your case.. he might be a stoner and you might be one with him.. but you still care about him drinking.. they are both types of intoxication and i advise that if you want to stop one you have to stop both of them… you know what i mean like if u make him stop drinking then he might increase on smoking and that does not do good.. so in order fro him to be able to stop drinking i think it would be best for him to stay sober in every way and you should be by his side…

there are many ways he can get alcohol… you know like parties and such… but you cant be with him 24/7 monitoring him that would just be sort of annoying and it would make him want to be away from you… so just talk to him you know grab him and look straight in his eyes and say ok… i know that you like to drink but i just think that your are drinking a little too much… you should try to stop…

also you can help him through it like it takes a while to stop doing somethin your very used to doing… he can maybe decrease the amount he has every time…until he just does not drink that much..

and like i had said… just talk to him seriously and show him that you care about him… and also if you can try to get to the reason why he drinks alot….

welll i hope my words will help you and if they do you can contact me at any time… good luck and take care…

p.s no more smoking… lol…

- Ju-Ju

Kelly,

I understand why you are upset. I was dating this guy for 9 months and durring the entire time i knew that he had a drinking problem, it seemed like it was over taking his life. I guess i thought that i could well, fix him. But as much as i tried, it didnt seem to work. The best advise i can give to you is letting you know that it is nearly impossible to fix somebody thats not willing to fix themselves. I know that its hard to see someone you care about so much not even realize what their throwing away, it kills you inside and makes you feel like your not good enough because you cant fix the problem. Thats not the truth, their not good enough because they dont realize how amazing the person is actually sticking with them, trying to help them fight the addiction. Kelly, make the right choice, move on, maybe once you do that, theyll realize how much they miss you and the only way they can have you back is to quit.

hope this helped.

-shelby

u have got to dump this guy. i understand that u luv him, but u deserve better. if u don’t do something about it now, then u might be in a lot of trouble. every time u see him pour that glass u are putting yourself in danger. is that really what u want from a guy? think about it!