Hey Josh

Hey, I know how you are feeling… I have always feared my parents getting a divorce then it happened. New Years 09. It was horrible and I live with My Mom. She is the better parent even thought she is un employeed she can still provide for me and my older brother.
I was scared I had to chose a parent since I am over 16. But My dad just kinda left, he didn’t really even want me to go. So it’s all working out for me. There is up days and dowm days. But Trust me, everything will work out for the better, your parents care for you deeply and don’t want you to be hurt.

Tayrn…may I first say to you that I am sorry you have to experience divorce. Many will go through this and overcome the many obstacles they face and some will require the help of others to climb the mountains but you will somehow work your way through this. I would begin by saying, you do not have to choose which parent you go with, often times the court will decide unless you are old enough to speak up for how you feel, but at any rate, you may actually find through the divorce both of your parents will have peace therefore will be better parents for you even if they are not living in the same household. Keep your chin up and continue dreaming the dreams for your own life.

I can’t say I know what it’s like. I’ve never experienced a divorce, but from the outcomes of them, they aren’t always happy(ish) endings like Danae. I can imagine that it’d be hard to choose between parents. It’s like telling you to choose between your body and your soul. It will probably be difficult. My advice is to talk to your parents. Try to get them to work out their problems and stay together. A family should not be separated. My parents always taught me that a marriage is a bonding partnership between two people. Two people who love each other. Try to show them their love for each other and remind them of the good times. This is partly what a relationship is. In a relationship, each party should be able to remember that they love each other and why. They should remind the other person every day that they love them. Marriages are not meant to be broken. Really, you should try to keep them together. It will be better if you can get them to resolve their conflicts.

-James

Taryn you have to follow your heart. Your parents seem pretty serious and its probably for the best that they divorce. It will be alright. Millions of other teens have had to deal with it. Just find someone you can talk to about it. In all honesty though, if you change your mind with who you live with you can switch houses as long as the court says that it is ok. You can still visit the other parent. And James, thats great advice for movies. But I don’t think it works in real life. My parents got a divorce and it really was for the better. Don’t involve yourself in their ifghts, it just makes you a target. And makes yourself vulnerable to get hurt if you “fail”

Hi Taryn,
Divorce and separation is a hard thing. My parents have been separated since I was 7, and I’m nearly 19 now. They get on pretty well, and I spend a fortnight living with each. I’m happy with it.
Make sure you talk it through with someone, and let a close mate know how you’re doing. It’s important to get things off your chest and be honest. Sad to hear about your situation, but you’ll get through it.

hey, taryn.
i’m sorry to hear about what’s happening with your family. i’ve been through two divorces, and i know it’s not exactly easy. however, if you’ve been fearing this since you were 4, it’s probably best for them and your family.
i know you’re afraid, but you don’t need to chose. they are your parents, and they both love you. your best option is to bring this up to them. explain that you don’t feel comfortable choosing and that you don’t want either one to feel like you are picking a favorite. if you are under 18, the custody gets worked out in their court order. chances are if you are young and still in school, you will probably end up with the parent that lives closer to where you are living now. as much as divorce sucks and as hard as it must be for them to go through, they also understand that it affect you and your life, and they should want to create as little turbulence as possible for you in your daily life (like being able to see your friends, stay in the same school, keep a part time job if you have one, etc.).
most importantly, please remember that you did nothing wrong and never let anyone make you feel like you need to choose. if your parents end up making you feel that you have to pick one or the other, whether it be in the settlement or in a fight they might be having (and yes, this does unfortunately happen sometimes), confront them. explain that you love them both equally and that it is unfair to put you in such a position.
it’ll be tough, but you can get through it, and you can be a stronger person for it.

Hey it’s a hard time alright,However. You are old enough and bright enought to have the use of a computer. You are smart enough to seek advice from others so…this is my advice. Do what the law says you have to do, go with which parent “wins” you at law. But whatever you do don’t do any choosing of parents. It’s their battle and although it hurts and it’s confusing, you will be out in the big wide world on your own soon enough and you’ll need all the friends you can count on and they my happen to be both your mum and your dad so don’t take side.
Get busy in your own work and accept the hand life is dealing you because it’s not being deal to you for you to get hung up on. Get on with your life. You are becoming an adult a little early,live with it. Continue to love both your parents and don’t you start in with fault finding. Realize that they are just as human as you are. Rise to meet your own challenge and conquer life using your own vision. Look forward to what you will achieve yourself and learn from this.

Hey iam going throught the same right now actually today ans I’m sicken tired of all this screaming and blaming is there ajy idea on what I should do my mom kust left and my dads acting like a fatass and sitting down by the way he was hjanging out with some lady and I caught him

Just wondering I heard this site from CNN and thought it ws wise thing to do
just wondering how can I post things??? And can I ask like any question???? Is there limit???

Hi Lee,
Send us an email at josh@heyjosh.com. Send as many as you’d like! thanks.

Hey Taryn,
I’m sorry to hear you have to personally deal with divorce. My parents divorced about 4 1/2 years ago and I remember it being one of the hardest times in my life so far. I have two younger sisters so I found it especially challenging to deal with my sadness and sense of lose while still setting a positive example for them. I’m not sure what the actual terms of agreement will be between your parents, but if possible I would try to see if they can agree to have joint custody of you. That is what my parent did for me and my siblings and it made the transition into two separate households less stressful. My sisters and I still switch between our parents houses every 1 to 2 weeks and try to spend about equal time with both parents. Even though I felt very sad and unsure of the future for quite a few months after they told us the news, our parents assured us that they would continue to put me and my sisters first; meaning that they would do whatever they could to help us transition especially because their unsuccessful relationship was in no way our fault. I would suggest, if you do have to choose between households, that you should definitely talk to both parents and voice any and all concerns you have. Because my parents still live in the same town they get together for me and my sisters’ birthdays and school events. Although things will never be exactly how they were when we were all one family, we have come to learn to work with our new way of life. If possible I would try to agree on some compromises since there is no exact formula of how to form/live a new family life between your old household and two new ones. I wish you the best of luck dealing with this challenging situation.

~Marie R

hey! i know how you are feeling. my parents are ‘divorced’ it happened all last year in august. hang in there. it gets easier. my dad cheated on my mom for a younger woman who is 28. i dont like her very much. but you will be okay. i promise hang in there. and good luck(:

jenny e.