Hey Josh

Advice Show 007 // Repairing Broken Trust, Accepting Yourself, and Being Your Best

Episode 007! Like James Bond…only, you know, completely unrelated.

This week we hear from Ray about a little habit he’s developed with breaking his parents’ trust, and Zi tells me she feels like she’s worthless, useless, and not good at anything. The Owl of Wisdom went on vacation apparently (darn bird didn’t even leave a note), so I recruit a plastic parrot to help answer their questions:

See you again next week with more freshly-baked, piping hot biscuits of knowledge. In the meantime, I’d love to hear your thoughts about Ray’s desire to repair the trust he broke and Zi’s damaging habit of always comparing herself to others. Hey, maybe you’re going through the same things. We’ve all been there at some point, right?

So, what’s your advice? How have you dealt with similar emotions/situations? Be a friend; get thee to the comments section and lob a few nuggets of insight over to Ray and Zi.

// josh

P.S. Ketrick, I’m glad to see you overcame what your parents did to your hair when you were but a helpless little boy wonder. The rest of you, scan and send your own crazy embarrassing permed mullet photos from your childhood/whenever to josh@heyjosh.com for a shot at a week in the frame.

Hey Kanye, That Was Rude

Dear Kanye,

I’ll keep this short, because EVERYONE and their enraged grandmother has been calling you out for your complete lack of self control at this year’s VMA’s. Crashing the stage, swiping the microphone, and butting into Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech and then using your words to steal her spotlight and verbally punch her in the face is a really, really, REALLY jerk-like move. The adage, “better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt” comes to mind…as does Katy Perry’s tweet accusing you of “stepping on a kitten.” Nobody likes people who deliberately step on kittens.

I’m glad to see that you’ve apologized, like, fifteen times already, but—as a general rule—it’s usually better to behave yourself than apologize for being stupid. Just ask your PR manager.

Look, I hope people forgive you, but more importantly, I hope you learn to control your tongue. You’re a passionate person—that’s great (and I think we can all agree that Beyonce is a superstar)—but let’s make it a point to use our passion and use our words to add to people, not subtract from them. Deal?

In the meantime, expect consequences. For example, jokes at your expense. With a little help from kanyelicio.us—a brilliant, timely, and well-deserved “tribute” to your big mouth—I decided to give your website the Kanye-at-the-VMA’s treatment. I hope you find it hilarious.

Behold: kanyeuniversecity.com…with a twist.

// josh

A Hey Josh Book Review: Defining Twilight

Good evening, young readers. Question for ya: What recently-released pop-culture-themed workbook involves vampires, SAT vocab words, and the brilliance of a gentleman named Brian Leaf? If you answered Defining Twilight, you’re a psychic master with surprising powers. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, you’re in for a treat:

Yes, there was a surprise quiz tucked away in there, so I hope you were paying attention. First two people to answer correctly in the comments box below get a copy of the book. The rest of you get personal satisfaction. Godspeed, young human.

// josh

Hey You, Grown-ups Need Advice, Too

Hey You,

Let’s be honest—sometimes, *some* grown-ups can cause you a lot of unnecessary grief. I know—I’ve been on the receiving end of that a few times myself. But here’s the thing: most grown-ups are doing their best and mean well. Let’s face it, some grown-ups need help…especially when it comes to understanding and connecting with young humans like yourselves.

I am going to help them.

You’re welcome in advance.

I’ve created a new website to help the grown-ups in your life overcome their natural tendencies to behave clumsily around teens and become better parents, teachers, coaches, and…you know, people in general. Have a few adults in mind? Send them here: http://grownups.heyjosh.com.

I’ve made it really easy for you: Just copy and paste the nifty little email template below, personalize it a bit, and send it off to all the grown-ups in your life you think could learn a thing or two from yours truly, and I’ll take care of the rest.

CONTEST: copy (cc:) josh@heyjosh.com on your email and I’ll pick three winners at random and mail you some rad free stuff.

Thanks!

// josh

===============

Dear [THEIR NAME GOES HERE],

You are formally invited to check out this new website for “grown-ups” from teen communication expert Josh Shipp. He’s only 28, but he’s been talking to and helping out teens and young people for more than a decade. So, he’s practically a genius. Anyway, now he’s helping adults (like you) relate to teens (like me) better. There will probably be a pop quiz, so I kindly suggest you get started at your earliest convenience:

http://grownups.heyjosh.com

Enjoy!

[YOUR NAME GOES HERE]

Advice Show 006 // What You Want in Life & Unbottling Bottled-up Emotions

Episode 006! Keepin’ it real with questions from Brandon and Gwen. Brandon’s feeling pressure to be something he doesn’t think he wants to be but—then again—he isn’t sure what he DOES want, and Gwen’s trying hard to be there for a BFF in a tough situation. Watch and learn:

The party’s here every week—same time, same place, same organic goodness. Flag me down at HeyJosh.com if you have a question of you own, or give me a call at 877-HEY-JOSH. In the meantime, try your hand at slinging advice to Brandon and Gwen. What have you done to try to figure out what you want? How have you been there for a friend? Your insights are valuable…but only if you share them. Go for it. This party’s for everyone.

// josh

P.S. Amy, your childhood photo is hilarious; your glasses redefine embarrassing. Love it. Thanks for chillin’ in my frame this week. The rest of you, stop guarding your embarrassing childhood photos from the eyes of the world like your reputation depends on it, let go of your pride, and send the pics to me at josh@heyjosh.com.

Advice Show 005 // Stalker Friends, Angry Moms, and Cow Costumes

Episode 005 coming at you with splendor. Isabella doesn’t know what to do about her best guy-friend who’s acting like a creeper and Megan’s having some trouble with her mom and wants to run away. But fear not, young human! Your chia-pet-haired hero and his trustworthy owl sidekick come to their rescue:

And now…I punt to you: what’s YOUR advice for Isabella and Megan? Share your experience, insights, and tasty tidbits of life-giving wisdom in the comments section below.

Until next time,

// josh

P.S. Let us not forget to give Alica a well-earned pat on the back for sending in a picture of herself all gussied up as a cow. You’ve earned your place in the frame of fame. As for the rest of you…be honest, you have pictures of yourself dressed up as My Little Pony. Send your embarrassing childhood photos to josh@heyjosh.com

Advice Show 004 // Crazy Siblings, Dreams, and Gangsta Rap

Episode 004! Delaney wants help dealing with a crazy, overprotective older brother who thinks he’s a gangsta rapper, and Erika confesses she’s scared to go after her dream. I sling my advice (and a little beatboxing) back at them:

See you next Wednesday, same time, same place, as I bring all new words of wisdom and wonderment to answer your all-new questions and queries. In the meantime, hit up Delaney and Erika with YOUR advice. How have you dealt with angry, unstable siblings? What have you done to turn your dreams into goals? And, of equal interest, can you bust a rhyme?

Peace, love, and a giant dream crab,

// josh

P.S.—Give it up for Philly D! Thanks for gracing the frame of glory with your cake-stealing childhood photo. Good man. The rest of you, do like Philly D. and send your embarrassing childhood photos to josh@heyjosh.com. (DON’T do like baby Philly D. and steal from Santa. Or anyone else. No stealing.)

Dear Australian Girls Who Got Trapped in a Storm Drain and Updated Facebook to Get Help…

Dear Australian girls who got trapped in a storm drain and updated Facebook to get help,

Hi, I’m Josh; pleasure to meet you. First, I’m really glad you’re OK—getting lost in a maze of storm drain tunnels is scary business; you two were very brave/foolish to go wandering in there in the first place. Second, I’m glad you thought to bring your cell phones with you on your underground adventure, I’m glad you had service down there, and I’m glad you thought to use them to get help when you realized you were hopelessly lost. That said, what you chose to DO with your cell phones is rather disappointing. I mean, I realize you two are only 10 and 12 and were probably scared and not thinking clearly, but really? Facebook was your first thought?

“Uh…I think we’re lost.”

“We’ll never get out of here. What do we do?”

“Wait, look! My smartphone has service!”

“Really? OMG! Then we can update our Facebook status!”

“Great idea! Here, I’ll do it…’HELP!!! Lost in storm drain tunnel w/ my BFF! Please call emergency services!!! Thx!!!’”

“Perfect! Yay! Problem solved! Hey, can your phone play music?”

“Uh, yeah. What do you want to listen to?”

Look, girls, advice is what I do, so let me break it down for you:

• Generally speaking, don’t play in storm drains.
• In emergency situations, use your phone to CALL FOR HELP. Believe it or not, calling people is actually the primary purpose of phones. I don’t know much about Australia, but I DO know they have a 3-digit emergency services number that’s REALLY easy to remember. Ready? 0-0-0. That’s three (count them) zeros. Or, you can always try calling your parents.
• In emergency situations, don’t bother updating your Facebook status. That’s…weird. And doesn’t really help with the whole emergency part of the situation.
• Facebook is for fun. It’s for stalking and talking to and throwing sheep at acquaintances. It’s not an emergency response hotline. I’m not sure where the confusion is coming from, really.

One last thing, ladies: go thank your friend—the one who happened to be online, saw your status, and actually took it seriously enough to do what you should have done in the first place…call for help. You owe him. So, next time you’re in an emergency, use your phone as a phone.

In your face but on your side,

// josh

Advice Show 003 // Rejection, Dating, and Mullets

Episode 003! My good man Jake’s afraid the girl he likes will reject him if he asks her out, and Lindsey wants to know what to do about this amazing guy she’s falling in love with…who already has a girlfriend. I sling back with advice for the ages (and the Owl of Wisdom adds his 2 cents):

Tune in next Wednesday for more glorious, wholesome, and thoroughly satiating (yes, it’s a word—look it up) nuggets of knowledge. In the meantime, what’s YOUR advice for Jake and Lindsey? Have you ever fallen for someone who’s already taken? How’d you deal with that? Or what have you done to overcome fear of rejection? Ready, set, leave a comment.

Until next time,

// josh

P.S.—Jessica, thanks for sharing your 8th grade mullet with the world. Truly righteous. The rest of you…whatcha got? Send your embarrassing childhood picture to josh@heyjosh.com.