Hey Josh

Happy 2010!

Happy 2010!

I wanted to quickly give you three biscuits of knowledge on how to kick 2010 in the FACE!!! (Pardon me—I play a lot of violent video games.)

#1 // DON’T SET RESOLUTIONS…SET GOALS

Research shows that 25% of people who make New Year’s promises give up on their “resolutions” before the end of the first week. WEAK! That means that one in four of you have already broken your resolutions. (You know who you are.) New plan: instead, write a few goals. Think of them as your 2010 to-do list. (Check out tadalist.com for a super-simple tool.) Make your goals very specific, and break those down into smaller, more easily achievable short-term goals. So, maybe you want to lose weight. Great! Now, figure out a specific plan. Maybe you want to cut soft drinks out of your diet, or go to the gym three times a week. Whatever you do, don’t have 5,000 goals…that’s crazy and overwhelming. You’re better off picking one goal and sticking with it than having 36 dozen and giving up on all of them.

Here are some worthy goals to consider:

- Start an exercise program
- Quit smoking
- Eat healthier food
- Get out of debt and stay out of it
- Be more generous with time and money

By the way, only set goals that are important to you; don’t set goals just because your family or friends expect you to.

#2 // GO PUBLIC WITH YOUR GOALS

If you only have yourself to let down—guess what? You’ll do it. All. Day. Long.

Don’t keep your goals secret. Sure, they’re personal, but they shouldn’t be private. Write your goals down. On paper. In pen. (No erasing.) Post them on the fridge, on the bathroom mirror, on your desk at school. Tattoo them on your forearm if you must. Keep them where you can see them—none of this “out of sight, out of mind” nonsense.

Next, tell your friends what you wanna do. Post your goals on your Facebook page. Tweet about ‘em. This way people can ridicule you if you pansy out and don’t accomplish them. Seriously, having the accountability and encouragement of others will go a long way toward helping you achieve your goals.

#3 // REVIEW YOUR GOALS MONTHLY

It’s important to check in and see how you are doing. You can’t work out once a month and expect to get in shape. You can’t shower once a month and expect to keep your friends. Same goes with your goals. It’s a daily thing. Step by step by step until—BOOM—you’ve accomplished it. It’s all about consistency.

If you get off track, don’t just throw up your hands and call the whole thing off. Sometimes we slip up. Let ourselves down. Binge on cupcakes. Don’t worry about it. Really. Figure out what’s working and what’s not. Figure out what needs to change. Then get back to it. Set deadlines. Reward yourself for little milestones (losing ten pounds! going one month–two months, three months–without a smoke!). As long as you keep going in the right direction, you’re doing great. Plus, good news: new habits get easier with time.

That’s it. Happy 2010. And a goat.

// josh

P.S. If you’re on Twitter, hit me up.

Advice Show 017 // Watch the Live Show on Livestream.com

Hi. Trying something new today. Catch Advice Show 017 LIVE on HeyJosh TV over here at Livestream.com. Game on at 3:18 p.m. PST.

Yes, 3:18 p.m.

Don’t be tardy.

// josh

Advice Show 016 // Porn Addiction and Rough Relationships

Yo, Josh Shipp here with Advice Show Episode 016. Today I’m dropping advice on Zach and Carly. Zach wrote in with vague confessions of struggling with an unnamed problem (I think I know what he’s getting at, though), and Carly’s tired of dealing with her best friend playing emotional yo-yo with her on-again off-again boyfriend. Listen closely, my friends…

Zach, to recap: you’re not alone in this struggle. More importantly, you’ll never beat this thing on your own. Ask anyone who’s tried and they’ll tell you the same thing: you need accountability, community, and support. Again, check out x3watch.com. (Btw, I’m proud of you for trying to shake the habit. It’s worth the fight.) Carly, tell your friend what she needs to hear. Ask her some deep questions, give her your honest advice, then step aside until she makes her move.

That’s my advice…so, what’s yours? Insert your two cents in the comments section below.

Until next time,

// josh

P.S. Katie, looking sharp. Great to have you on the show. Everyone, if you have an embarrassing childhood photo, keep ‘em coming to josh@heyjosh.com.

Advice Show 015 // Self Pity, Losing Dad, and Googling Yourself

Happy Thanksgiving Day’s Eve, grateful young humans! Allow me to present Advice Show Episode 015 for your enjoyment and edification. Yeah, I know what you really want right now is several healthy helpings of pumpkin pie and mug of hot cider, but you’ll have to wait until tomorrow. (Hey, don’t blame me; I’m not cooking your dinner.) In the meantime, Jessica needs advice on helping out a friend who feels really sorry for herself and Rachelle is struggling with losing her dad and isn’t ready to handle her mom’s new boyfriend. Let’s see if we can help:

And that’s my take; I’d love to hear  yours. What have YOU done to help pull people out of their pity parties? Or maybe you’ve lost a parent and can relate to Rachelle. How did you respond? What can Rachelle learn from your experience?

Keep it real, everybody.

Peace, love, and a turkey,

// josh

P.S. Priscilla, you’re photo wasn’t embarrassing. You look great, honestly. Tanline schmanline. Anyway, thanks for sending it to me; it was great to have you on the show. I hope you find a lovely prom date. The rest of you, send your actually embarrassing childhood photos to josh@heyjosh.com.

Advice Show 014 // Moving, Roommates, and Making Friends

Salutations, young humans, and welcome to Advice Show episode 014! (“Salutations” is a fancy word for “hi,” btw.) Phyl moved to a new school/neighborhood and feels like he has no one to talk to, and Kelsey is dealing with a tense roommate situation. I sling advice their way:

So, there it is. Patience, perseverance, and evites are where it’s at when it comes to making friends. At least, I think so. What’s YOUR advice on moving, making new friends, and dealing with difficult roommates? If any of you have tried out earplugs to block out snoring so you can sleep over your roommates ruckus, let Kelsey know how that worked out for ya. Could be a lifesaver.

Until next time,

// josh

P.S. Rachel, thanks for the embarrassing childhood picture; sorry for the bad print job. I hope we can still be friends. The rest of you, send your embarrassing childhood photos to josh@heyjosh.com.

Advice Show 013 // Haunted Houses, Cheating Boyfriends, and Lying Friends

Welcome to Episode 013! Zach wants to run a professional haunted house but his dad’s not exactly thrilled by the idea and Ashley’s boyfriend admits he cheated on her with her best friend (ouch)…but her friend denies it. What to do?

Glad you asked:

I’m guessing you know what’s coming next: that’s right! it’s YOUR turn. What’s your advice for Zacharia and Ashley? How would you (or have you) handled similar situations in your life?

In your face, but on your side,

// josh

P.S. This week’s embarrassing childhood photo definitely takes things to a whole new level. Dig out those photos of you from when you were an infant (or, you know, last week) where you’re trying to smile and it comes off looking more like a grimace on a scared chimpanzee. The world wants to see those pics. Send ‘em to me at josh@heyjosh.com.

Advice Show 012 // Exchanging Facebook Passwords and Joining the Navy

Greetings young earthlings! Episode 012 here with fresh advice ripe for the harvest. A girl who calls herself “Broken Heart” suspects her boyfriend may be cheating on her and Jonathan butts heads with his dad about wanting to enlist in the military straight out of high school. I have words for both of them:

So, what’s YOUR take? As wisdom brewed from experience percolates to the surface of your mind, pour it forth! (Sometimes I like to wax poetical on you.) Bottom line: “Broken Heart” and Jonathan aren’t alone in these situations. If you can relate, let ‘em know. Your advice matters, too, ya know.

Until next time,

// josh

P.S. Sarah, it was good of you and your curly childhood mullet to join me in the frame. As always, send your embarrassing childhood photos to josh@heyjosh.com. Keep it real.

Advice Show 011 // College, Goals, Pregnancy, and Truth Telling

Episode 011! Jess wants to write a book and be an artist, but her parents think that’s waste of time and want her to go to college…but the thought of college makes Jess panic. What to do? In other email, JD and his fiance are pregnant but don’t want his parents or her grandparents to find out. I serve ‘em each a savory morsel of wisdom, so sink your teeth into this:

And now, my young apprenti (I’ve decided to make “apprenti” the plural form of “apprentice” instead of “apprentices” because, well, I think it sounds cooler), let’s hear YOUR advice for Jess and JD. What are some of the lessons you’ve learned about planning for your future and/or telling the truth even when it hurts?

Until next time,

// josh

P.S. Jaimie, thanks for sharing your toothless childhood smile with me. I found it both heartwarming and humorous. The rest of you…let’s see what you’ve got. Send your embarrassing childhood photos to josh@heyhosh.com.

Advice Show 010 // IDENTITY, Trying New Things, and Getting Girls

Episode 010! Let me begin with some shameless self-promotion: today (Wednesday, October 21), in exactly one hour (at 3 p.m. EST), the greatest thing I’ve ever made is going on sale over at grownups.heyjosh.com, and I’m giving away some amazing free stuff to some of the first parents, teachers, and other adults who buy it for the teens in their life (that’s you). The product is all about helping grown-ups and teens work together to address the issue of labels and identity, because figuring out who you are is THE most important thing—it’s pretty much foundational to everything else. So, my advice to you? Get your parents to buy this for you.

In other news, Mara just switched schools and feels torn between her past and her future, and former ladies’ man Chris fears he’s lost his mojo after breaking up with his girlfriend. No fear, my friends—the Owl of Wisdom and I have got your back:

Now get thee unto the comments section and sling your own advice at Mara and Chris. Share your wisdom; the world is waiting.

Again, make sure to send the grown-ups in your life to grownups.heyjosh.com with special urgent instructions to make a worthwhile investment in your life. Feel free to craft your own personal plea, or just copy and paste this EMAIL TEMPLATE. Don’t forget, first five people to get their parent to buy this thing get a special personalized video from me (we’ll talk details later), not to mention a shot at winning tons of free swag.

Rock steady,

// josh

P.S. Hey William, welcome to the frame! You earned it, buddy–that turtleneck/cardigan combo is beautiful. Keep ‘em coming, people–the more the merrier! Send your embarrassing childhood photos to josh@heyjosh.com, and you, me, and William will hang out together.

Advice Show 009 // Frienemies, Mom’s New Boyfriend, and Talking It Out

Yo. It’s Josh Shipp, dropping in with Episode 009. Word on the street/email is Tessa’s being pestered by a pointlessly competitive, copy-cat frienemy and Alyssa’s canned emotions are causing her to distance herself from friends and family. These kind folks asked for my advice…and I kindly obliged. Behold:

Alright, young earthling—time for a little personal reflection. One way or another, I’m guessing you’ve dealt with these issues in your own life, so I’d love to hear what you’ve learned in the process (as would Tessa and Alyssa). We’ve all been on both sides of the “monkey see, monkey do” imitation game, and we’ve all canned up our emotions and made ourselves miserable. What’s YOUR solution? How have you opened up to friends and family about stuff you really didn’t want to talk about? Or, if you’ve been in Tessa’s shoes, have you ever tried to help people who annoy you and, if so, how did that worked out for you?

Pardon all the questions—I’m feeling inquisitive today, I guess. If you’d rather ask a question than answer one, that’s cool, too. Bring it on.

Later,

// josh

P.S. Hey, Kristen! It’s been good seeing you and your crazy Bubba teeth in my frame—it helps remind me to brush and floss regularly. The rest of you…I imagine I’ll be seeing your embarrassing childhood photos arriving in my email inbox any day now. Please direct your photos to josh@heyjosh.com.

Advice Show 008 // Learning to Drive, Conformity, and Testing Everything

Episode 008 rolls in with a question from Alysa about how to deal with her dad—sounds like he’s driving her crazy trying to teach her how to drive—and a query from Patrick about whether conformity is a good thing or a bad thing. I believe good questions deserve good answers, so, here we go:

If you have words of hope to share with Alysa, insight to offer Patrick, or a narcoleptic Driver’s Ed teacher, the world needs to hear about it. Leave a comment below, budding advice slingers! If you have questions, issues, or troubling thoughts and you’re looking for advice yourself, hit me up—that’s what I’m here for.

Until next time,

// josh

P.S. Stephanie, looking sharp; you make an adorable dalmatian puppy. The rest of you, follow her lead and send in your embarrassing childhood photos to josh@heyjosh.com. Dog costumes, chicken suits, homemade superhero get-ups and other unflattering apparel are all welcome in my frame.

Advice Show 007 // Repairing Broken Trust, Accepting Yourself, and Being Your Best

Episode 007! Like James Bond…only, you know, completely unrelated.

This week we hear from Ray about a little habit he’s developed with breaking his parents’ trust, and Zi tells me she feels like she’s worthless, useless, and not good at anything. The Owl of Wisdom went on vacation apparently (darn bird didn’t even leave a note), so I recruit a plastic parrot to help answer their questions:

See you again next week with more freshly-baked, piping hot biscuits of knowledge. In the meantime, I’d love to hear your thoughts about Ray’s desire to repair the trust he broke and Zi’s damaging habit of always comparing herself to others. Hey, maybe you’re going through the same things. We’ve all been there at some point, right?

So, what’s your advice? How have you dealt with similar emotions/situations? Be a friend; get thee to the comments section and lob a few nuggets of insight over to Ray and Zi.

// josh

P.S. Ketrick, I’m glad to see you overcame what your parents did to your hair when you were but a helpless little boy wonder. The rest of you, scan and send your own crazy embarrassing permed mullet photos from your childhood/whenever to josh@heyjosh.com for a shot at a week in the frame.

Advice Show 006 // What You Want in Life & Unbottling Bottled-up Emotions

Episode 006! Keepin’ it real with questions from Brandon and Gwen. Brandon’s feeling pressure to be something he doesn’t think he wants to be but—then again—he isn’t sure what he DOES want, and Gwen’s trying hard to be there for a BFF in a tough situation. Watch and learn:

The party’s here every week—same time, same place, same organic goodness. Flag me down at HeyJosh.com if you have a question of you own, or give me a call at 877-HEY-JOSH. In the meantime, try your hand at slinging advice to Brandon and Gwen. What have you done to try to figure out what you want? How have you been there for a friend? Your insights are valuable…but only if you share them. Go for it. This party’s for everyone.

// josh

P.S. Amy, your childhood photo is hilarious; your glasses redefine embarrassing. Love it. Thanks for chillin’ in my frame this week. The rest of you, stop guarding your embarrassing childhood photos from the eyes of the world like your reputation depends on it, let go of your pride, and send the pics to me at josh@heyjosh.com.

Advice Show 005 // Stalker Friends, Angry Moms, and Cow Costumes

Episode 005 coming at you with splendor. Isabella doesn’t know what to do about her best guy-friend who’s acting like a creeper and Megan’s having some trouble with her mom and wants to run away. But fear not, young human! Your chia-pet-haired hero and his trustworthy owl sidekick come to their rescue:

And now…I punt to you: what’s YOUR advice for Isabella and Megan? Share your experience, insights, and tasty tidbits of life-giving wisdom in the comments section below.

Until next time,

// josh

P.S. Let us not forget to give Alica a well-earned pat on the back for sending in a picture of herself all gussied up as a cow. You’ve earned your place in the frame of fame. As for the rest of you…be honest, you have pictures of yourself dressed up as My Little Pony. Send your embarrassing childhood photos to josh@heyjosh.com

Advice Show 004 // Crazy Siblings, Dreams, and Gangsta Rap

Episode 004! Delaney wants help dealing with a crazy, overprotective older brother who thinks he’s a gangsta rapper, and Erika confesses she’s scared to go after her dream. I sling my advice (and a little beatboxing) back at them:

See you next Wednesday, same time, same place, as I bring all new words of wisdom and wonderment to answer your all-new questions and queries. In the meantime, hit up Delaney and Erika with YOUR advice. How have you dealt with angry, unstable siblings? What have you done to turn your dreams into goals? And, of equal interest, can you bust a rhyme?

Peace, love, and a giant dream crab,

// josh

P.S.—Give it up for Philly D! Thanks for gracing the frame of glory with your cake-stealing childhood photo. Good man. The rest of you, do like Philly D. and send your embarrassing childhood photos to josh@heyjosh.com. (DON’T do like baby Philly D. and steal from Santa. Or anyone else. No stealing.)

Dear Australian Girls Who Got Trapped in a Storm Drain and Updated Facebook to Get Help…

Dear Australian girls who got trapped in a storm drain and updated Facebook to get help,

Hi, I’m Josh; pleasure to meet you. First, I’m really glad you’re OK—getting lost in a maze of storm drain tunnels is scary business; you two were very brave/foolish to go wandering in there in the first place. Second, I’m glad you thought to bring your cell phones with you on your underground adventure, I’m glad you had service down there, and I’m glad you thought to use them to get help when you realized you were hopelessly lost. That said, what you chose to DO with your cell phones is rather disappointing. I mean, I realize you two are only 10 and 12 and were probably scared and not thinking clearly, but really? Facebook was your first thought?

“Uh…I think we’re lost.”

“We’ll never get out of here. What do we do?”

“Wait, look! My smartphone has service!”

“Really? OMG! Then we can update our Facebook status!”

“Great idea! Here, I’ll do it…’HELP!!! Lost in storm drain tunnel w/ my BFF! Please call emergency services!!! Thx!!!’”

“Perfect! Yay! Problem solved! Hey, can your phone play music?”

“Uh, yeah. What do you want to listen to?”

Look, girls, advice is what I do, so let me break it down for you:

• Generally speaking, don’t play in storm drains.
• In emergency situations, use your phone to CALL FOR HELP. Believe it or not, calling people is actually the primary purpose of phones. I don’t know much about Australia, but I DO know they have a 3-digit emergency services number that’s REALLY easy to remember. Ready? 0-0-0. That’s three (count them) zeros. Or, you can always try calling your parents.
• In emergency situations, don’t bother updating your Facebook status. That’s…weird. And doesn’t really help with the whole emergency part of the situation.
• Facebook is for fun. It’s for stalking and talking to and throwing sheep at acquaintances. It’s not an emergency response hotline. I’m not sure where the confusion is coming from, really.

One last thing, ladies: go thank your friend—the one who happened to be online, saw your status, and actually took it seriously enough to do what you should have done in the first place…call for help. You owe him. So, next time you’re in an emergency, use your phone as a phone.

In your face but on your side,

// josh

Advice Show 003 // Rejection, Dating, and Mullets

Episode 003! My good man Jake’s afraid the girl he likes will reject him if he asks her out, and Lindsey wants to know what to do about this amazing guy she’s falling in love with…who already has a girlfriend. I sling back with advice for the ages (and the Owl of Wisdom adds his 2 cents):

Tune in next Wednesday for more glorious, wholesome, and thoroughly satiating (yes, it’s a word—look it up) nuggets of knowledge. In the meantime, what’s YOUR advice for Jake and Lindsey? Have you ever fallen for someone who’s already taken? How’d you deal with that? Or what have you done to overcome fear of rejection? Ready, set, leave a comment.

Until next time,

// josh

P.S.—Jessica, thanks for sharing your 8th grade mullet with the world. Truly righteous. The rest of you…whatcha got? Send your embarrassing childhood picture to josh@heyjosh.com.

Advice Show 002

Episode 002! Laura and Shelby hit me up for advice on friends and dealing with past mistakes (respectively) and I sling back with grace and style. I also introduce the Great Owl of Wisdom. Yes, he is fearsome and glorious. Behold:

See you next Wednesday, same time, same place. In the meantime, what’s YOUR advice for Laura and Shelby? If you have any personal wisdom to share with them about how to  juggle different groups of friends or what you’ve done to deal with inner conflict/guilt/regret for past mistakes, leave a comment below.

Until next time,

// josh

P.S.—Props to Ryan for laying it all out there for us this week. Love the trike. If you think you can trump his trump card, send your embarrassing childhood picture to josh@heyjosh.com and claim your moment of fame in the frame.

Advice Show 001

At last! Your patience is rewarded with the highly anticipated inaugural episode of my new Advice Show (guest starring the Owl of Wisdom). Let’s get this party started…

See you next Wednesday and every Wednesday thereafter for future installments of our regularly scheduled Advice Show programming. In the meantime, what’s YOUR advice for Sabrina and Ashley? If you have any thoughts/experience/words of glory to share with them re: resolving culture clash and whether or not to send naked pictures to “slobs and jerks”, leave a comment below.

Until next time,

// josh

P.S.—Katie (and unsuspecting friend), congrats and thank you for sending your embarrassing childhood photo to keep me company on set. The rest of you, keep ‘em coming.

Advice Show Announcement, a Brief Tour, and an Embarrassing Photo

Greetings, dear viewers! Sorry I’m a bit late getting this up—I ran into a few problems with the video at first but now we’re good to go.

Ready, steady, let’s do this…

So…hit me up with your questions! Again you have three options:

1 // send me an email
2 // call 877-HEY-JOSH and leave a message with my grandmother
3 // submit a YouTube video and send the link to josh@heyjosh.com

ALSO…send me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free…err, sorry–got a bit carried away there. Poetic though, wasn’t it? Someone should inscribe that on a giant copper statue in NY…

Back on topic: SEND ME AN EMBARRASSING PHOTO of yourself. You’ve seen me as a pudgy little boy in an very loud sweater, it’s only fair I see you in your homemade Barney costume.

Scan and email your photo to josh@heyjosh.com, or mail it the good ol’ fashioned way to:

PO Box 530

Los Gatos, CA 95031

If you really put yourself out there, I’ll let your embarrassing photo hang out with my embarrassing photo on set. Seriously, my embarrassing photo needs company. No one wants to be his friend. Please send him a friend.

Until next time,

// josh

The People Have Spoken! Behold the Name of My Glorious New Advice Show

Greetings, young human!

You’ve spoken, I’ve heard you, and—with the help of your input—my Previously-Yet-To-Be-Named-But-Sure-To-Be-Awesome Advice Show now has a name. And it shall be called…

[ __________ ]

Done.

It was a close race, sportsfans…our winner edged out runner-up [ _________ ] by a mere 22 votes. “Every vote counts” and all that. Here are the official results:

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A big thanks to each and every one of you for your help, participation, and support.

Now…mark your calendars! Episode 1 of [ __________ ] airs right here on heyjosh.com NEXT Wednesday at 11 a.m. PST.

Brace yourself for glory.

// josh

Hey You, Hey Josh Needs Your Help

That’s right, dear friends—I’m relaunching a completely revamped, totally brilliant, and yet-to-be-named Advice Show right here on heyjosh.com every Wednesday at 11 a.m. PST (that’s West Coast time).

We’ve narrowed down possible show titles to three worthy contenders, and now, young grasshopper…the final call is up to you.

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Vote responsibly. Poll closes at Midnight on Sunday, August 9.

Tune in for Episode 1 of my Yet-To-Be-Named-But-Sure-To-Be-Awesome Advice Show next week—same time, same place.

Peace, love, and a goat,

// josh

Hey Josh, I’m Worried I’ll Have to Give Up My Dream

Hey Josh,

I really need some help in the career area. Well anyway, what’s up is I’ve been wanting to become a physio for several years, but when I was 17 my dad didn’t let me do YR 12 because he thought that business was for me, but I never wanted to be chained to a boring desk. That would never be purposeful for me. Well, dad does not live in the household anymore so it’s just me and my mum.

This year I decided to make my dream my goal and make it become reality so I’ve been doing YR 12 part time. Anyway because I have to look for a full time job or centerlink will not pay me, I’m stuck because they say I must get a full time job and I have to quit my course which means quitting my dream. I don’t know what to do and they don’t accept part time work either. I don’t want to sound like I’m whining but if I study full time I can’t pay my bills.

What should I do? I’m also wondering, could sponsorship be an option and how would I get it. I don’t want to give up on my dreams and reality is I have 10 weeks till my exams and then I will work as many hours as they demand my work. Really need HELP, don’t know how I’m gonna solve this problem and finish my course.

–Erina

Read more…

Josh On Why Miley Cyrus Is Still a Kid…and Why That’s OK

Hey Miley,

What’s up? It’s your pal, Josh. I couldn’t help but notice your latest photo shoot has caused a little controversy. I’m sure you’ve heard what some people are saying: that you’re trying to grow up too fast, that you’re not mature enough to be posing like that, yadda yadda yadda. Some of these people are probably just jealous that you’ve amassed millions of fans and made millions of dollars (congrats on that, by the way). Others may actually have your best interests in mind.

Here’s my advice:

• Be yourself, not who others expect you to be. Just because you found Lindsay Lohan’s playbook doesn’t mean you have to steal the plays.
• Remember you’re a public role model–everything you do will be imitated by thousands of girls, so all of your decisions have consequences. (If that realization scares the Hannah Montana out of you, don’t freak out. If you need help, I got your back.)
• Sexually exploiting yourself is not a sign of maturity; it’s a sign of insecurity. Think about it.

BTW, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but…FACT: you are still a kid. Embrace it. Being a kid rocks. Sure, you’re independently wealthy and wildly successful, but that doesn’t make you all gown up.

In your face but on your side,

// josh

Hey You, what do you think about Miley Cyrus’ photos in Elle? What’s your advice?

Hey Josh, I’m Having Problems With My Parents

I get a lot of emails from teens and twenty somethings who spill their guts to me and ask for my advice. It’s flattering. It’s humbling. It’s exhilarating. It keeps me up at night and inspires me to get up in the morning. And sometimes it just downright breaks my heart.

Like this.

A girl recently sent me a request for advice on YouTube. I asked her if it would be cool if I shared the vid with you. She said, “Indeed.”

This makes me sad for two reasons:

1//  She’s going through this

2//  A LOT of you are going through this

People ask me “How can I deal with my parents?” all the time, and it’s not an easy question. I know—I dealt with twelve different sets of parents growing up in foster care. Anyway, hold on to your socks for an in-depth look at this issue coming in the near future. In the meantime, here’s my response back to Kiley—I share it with you b/c it’s what I’d tell you if you had the same problem:

Hey there,

Sorry about your situation. My advice would be to focus on what you DO have, instead of what you DON’T have.

You DO have friends who care about you.

Love you.
Respect you.
Want you.

If your parents don’t feel like way (which is crazy) that is their problem. I wish I could give you some secret advice to make your parents change.

***BUT I CAN’T***

So this is a situation where the only thing you have control over is how you react.

You are a valuable person. And lovable. If your parents truly don’t see that, it’s their loss. Not yours.

// josh

P.S. May I put your video on heyjosh.com? I think a lot of teens could relate to your situation.

I also asked for some advice from a few friends of mine on her situation. Here’s what they brought to the table:

Advice from bvantil:

Hey Kiley, you seem like a great person, and that your family life is in a ‘valley’ right now. Be sure you take the time to sit them down one on one and explain how you feel, but be sure to ask what’s going on with THEM—you may be surprised at why they’re acting the way they are…and it’s okay to confide (and vent) to your friends (that’s what friends are for!

Advice from melissacwalker:

Aw, Kiley. Find the people who value you—your friends, the people you CHOOSE to have in your life—and stick with them. Let them build you up, and focus on that.

So, what’s YOUR take? Two things I’m wondering:

Firstly, if you’ve been through something like this, how have you dealt with it? What did you learn from it? What worked? What didn’t? Second, what advice would you give to her/someone like her?

In your face, but on your side.

// josh

Dear Girl Who Fell into a Staten Island Sewer While Texting

Dear Girl Who Fell into a Staten Island Sewer While Texting,

I know, it wasn’t entirely your fault. And I’m sorry it happened. Those evil workers should have put up orange cones or neon warning lights or barricades or something for you to bump into. But let’s face it, falling into an open manhole is only possible if a) you are legally blind, or b) you are not paying attention to where you’re going.

Advice is what I do, so here’s my advice:

• Don’t text and walk, unless you’re a wizard. Or you actually want to fall into holes.
• Especially don’t text and walk while you’re with your friend; pay attention to the person you’re with. It’s polite.
• Watch where you’re going, on the street and in life. A wise man once created the cliche: if you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll probably end up somewhere else. Like a sewer. Ewwww.
• Don’t sue. That is so 2001. Take responsibility for your actions.
• Take a shower and buy new shoes.

A safe distance upwind, but on your side,

// josh

PS — Dear Friend of Girl Who Fell into the Sewer: Why on earth didn’t you WARN your friend that she was about to fall into a hole in the ground? Were you texting, too?

Hey You, do you text and walk? What’s the craziest thing you’ve done while texting?

When Will You Die?

Let’s talk about death for a second. More specifically, your death. When do you think it will happen?

No, I’m not trying to freak you out. Honestly. A recent survey showed that 1 in 7 teens think they’ll die an early death. That’s almost 15% of teenagers that don’t think they’ll live to see their 35th birthday.

Not surprisingly, the study shows that this kind of belief leads to riskier behavior among teens. We’re talking greater drug use, unprotected sex, and violence. So I have to ask: if a person thinks they’re going to die young, are they more likely to start making riskier choices in life OR is it the people who already make those risky choices that think they’re going to die young?

So what do you think? How long will you live? And how do your thoughts on death affect how you live your life now?

Hey You, My Boyfriend’s Depressed

Your Royal Awesomeness,

I present thee with a dilemma from Kelsey. Please bestow upon it your vast wisdom and good sense. My site is your domain. Thankest thou very mucheth.

Your humble servant,

// josh

—

Hey Josh,

How can I get my boyfriend to cheer up? I’ve been with him for over five months and he’s never happy. I tried to be there for him, but it never seems to end. He always tells me how much his life sucks and it’s really draining to listen to him. Despite this he’s still a nice person and gives me thoughtful gifts and stuff.

But yeah, I already have depression and he’s not making it much better. I’m scared that if I break up with him now he’ll hang himself or something. Help!

-Kelsey

Hey Josh, My Parents Hate my Boyfriend

Hey Josh,

I dated this guy for 6 months and my parents seemed to be totally cool with him and like him and all that good stuff. Well then he broke up with me in January and I was totally devastated….

BUT we started talking a while back and everything is all good and we have realized that we love being together. HIS parents love the idea of us being together and are very happy. Mine on the other hand think that I am acting crazy for taking him back and hate the guy even though I am happy.

How do I convince my parents not to hate him? 

-Nicole

Read more…

Hey You, My Parents are Getting Divorced

Hey there,

Let’s be honest. Divorce sucks. Especially when it’s happening in your own family. If you’ve dealt with the divorce of your parents or have helped a friend work through it, sling some advice to Taryn to help her get through this difficult time.

// josh

—

Hey Josh,

My worst fear is currently coming true.  About a month ago my parents told me that they were getting a divorce.  I have been terrified of that happening ever since I was about 4 years old.  I’m stressed and don’t want to have to choose which parent to go with.  

I need help.  What do I do? 

-Taryn

Hey Josh, How do I deal with a mean girl?

Hey Josh,

I’ve got a problem. And my problem’s got a name. It’s Emily.

For some reason, Emily has decided to make my life a misery. She insults me to my face, tells my friends I talk about them behind their backs, tells people lies about me, and tons of other fun stuff.

Well, recently, I realized I really liked my best friend (which was awkward at first…). Emily found out and went around telling everyone that he was disgusted and freaked out.

What do I do about this girl? I’ve tried telling her to leave me alone. I’ve tried pretending she isn’t there. But this chick is out to get me for some wacky reason

Ahh! I’m going to pull my hair out!!!  She’s driving me loony. Help! 
Becky

Read more…

Hey You, My Boyfriend’s Becoming an Alcoholic

Hey You,

Kelly needs some wisdom. Since you have so much of it, why don’t you share? She’ll be grateful, your mom will be proud, and you’ll be happy (since giving is better than receiving and all that crap). Everybody wins.

// josh

—

Hey Josh,

My boyfriends becoming an alcoholic & I don’t want to see it happen to him. He’s already a stoner & i hate it so much. Smoking on the other hand doesn’t bother me as I do it as well. But I can’t just sit here and let him ruin his life & throw away everything he has.

Please help.
-kelly

Hey Josh, Should I Give Up Dating?

Hey Josh,

So I was writing to tell you this dilemma I have…I had a pretty bad relationship. My first boyfriend ever was a jerk the whole way through and manipulated me which pretty much embittered me towards guys. I am still attracted to them, of course, but I have made a decision not to date because of it.

My friends all think I’m being too dramatic and hasty, making that decision at 16 before ever really giving guys a chance, so now I’m not sure what to think about my choice.

Am I choosing the right thing or should I give guys another try? I don’t know if I am just being logical or trying to shut guys out to keep from getting hurt again. Will you please help me?

Thanks,
Jalayne

—

Dearest Jalayne,

You might want to have your friends start calling you Sister Jalayne because your career path is heading towards being a nun. (Nuns are the ones who don’t date, right?)

Man, I loved Sister Act II. That Whoopi Goldberg is something else. Pardon me.

I think you’re being a tad over zealous. But it’s natural to swing to the opposite side when you’ve been burned. Remember when you swore off Mexican food because of what it did to you that one time? Exactly.

My advice: Date again. But learn from your past. You are now wiser, more cautious, and know what you’re looking for. (By the way, you should be picky! You shouldn’t settle! You deserve that.)

I shall close with the wise words of the American Rejects, “Find a man that’s worth a D@#% that treats you well.”

In your face, but on your side,
// josh

You’re in my space!

A recent study shows that 48% of adults (a.k.a. your parents) currently have a Facebook or Myspace page. We all know that Facebook originally began as a social networking site strictly for high school and college students, but has slowly expanded to welcome users of all ages. This has obviously paid off (for them) as they’ve grown in popularity, but how has it affected you? Knowing that your parents, aunts, uncles, neighbors, and other adults in your life can view your page at any time, have you changed the things you’re willing to post? 

Essentially, your parents now have access to what you’re doing all the time, who you’re hanging out with it, and what you really did at that party last weekend (as proven by all those tagged photos). Assuming that your folks know how to use the internet and can figure out Facebook’s frustrating new redesign, they can check up on you constantly. Does that bother you? Does it alter the things you would normally say or do on FB or Myspace? Or do you think it’s a good thing that your parents, your friends’ parents, and/or your overbearing relatives can see what you’re up to? 

If a new social networking site launched that only allowed users who were in junior high, high school or college, would you prefer that? Do you think that teens should have a site to call their own without the protective eyes of their parents constantly watching? Tell us what you think below!

Hey Josh, I Wanna Break Up Before Prom

Promlem #5 from Steph:

“I’m supposed to go to prom with my boyfriend, but prom is still a month away and there’s no way the relationship is surviving until then. He’s clingy and feels like he constantly has to have his hand on my arm, back, etc. We can never just sit around and talk. He also doesn’t like that I coach a team of younger girls, but I live for those girls.

I don’t know how to end it without it getting ugly, even though in past break-ups I’ve been able to mediate things pretty well. If we break up, do I still go to prom with him? I’m at a complete loss at how to handle everything. In over my head doesn’t even begin to cover it.”

Yo Steph,

Ditch this dude. You’re done with him anyway. Get it over with. It’s better for you and better for him. If you respect him at all, don’t force him to take you to prom, spend money on an expensive dinner when you’d rather be eating pizza anyway, and make him endure a horribly awkward prom evening ending with a goodnight hand-shake.

Wow…that was a massive run-on sentence.

Uh yeah, get rid of him and go to the prom with your friends or with a friend who also happens to stand to urinate.

In a tux, but on your side,

// josh

Hey Josh, Prom Makes Me Want to Puke

Promlem #4 from Kaela:

“I hate dancing and I am uncomfortable with many aspects of school dances. I have issues with crowds, strobe lights, and did I mention crowds? Severe issues. Dances make me physically sick. In the weeks leading up to dances, I develop eating problems and give up on schoolwork (even getting detention on purpose).

If I am forced to go to a dance, I have a panic attack and spazz out, shaking and whimpering, which of course makes me look rather undignified. My friends don’t understand and they probably feel insulted when I refuse to dance with them. My boyfriend accepts my fear of dances but I still feel guilty.

Telling me ‘just go to the dance’ will not help unless you think throwing up in public is a good idea. And honestly? I don’t want to change. I just want to know how to help my friends accept and understand me.”
Read more…

09 Rad Prom Tips for ‘09

01. Hygiene is important. Perhaps on prom night more than ever. Take time to bathe.

02. Rent a limo. Can’t afford a limo? Borrow your parents car. Can’t talk them into loaning it to you? Clean your car out. Your date does not want taco bell wrappers stuck to her high heels.

03. Avoid the urge to dance in the center of a circle of prom-goers at all costs unless a) you are Justin Timberlake, b) you are blatantly trying to be funny, or c) you want your date to ignore you the rest of the night.

Read more…

Hey You, Is Prom Overrated?

Promlem #3 from James:

“I think prom is overrated. (Is that a good enough dilemma?) Yeah, I’m a teenager that thinks prom is overrated. Don’t see many of those, do you?”

–

So, what do YOU think? Is prom overrated? Has it become a tradition that receives way too much hype? If you skipped the prom, do you think you’d regret it? Or is all the excitement there for a reason? Is it really a magical, wonderful night filled with sunshine and rainbows? We want to know what you think! Sound off below!

Hey Josh, I Don’t Have a Date to Prom

Promlem #2 from Mandi:

“I don’t have a date for prom and all my friends do. They’re all going with their boyfriends and I’m single. I don’t want to be the only one without a date but I really want to go! Help!!