Zach, to recap: you’re not alone in this struggle. More importantly, you’ll never beat this thing on your own. Ask anyone who’s tried and they’ll tell you the same thing: you need accountability, community, and support. Again, check out x3watch.com. (Btw, I’m proud of you for trying to shake the habit. It’s worth the fight.) Carly, tell your friend what she needs to hear. Ask her some deep questions, give her your honest advice, then step aside until she makes her move.

That’s my advice…so, what’s yours? Insert your two cents in the comments section below.

Until next time,

// josh

P.S. Katie, looking sharp. Great to have you on the show. Everyone, if you have an embarrassing childhood photo, keep ‘em coming to josh@heyjosh.com.

And that’s my take; I’d love to hear  yours. What have YOU done to help pull people out of their pity parties? Or maybe you’ve lost a parent and can relate to Rachelle. How did you respond? What can Rachelle learn from your experience?

Keep it real, everybody.

Peace, love, and a turkey,

// josh

P.S. Priscilla, you’re photo wasn’t embarrassing. You look great, honestly. Tanline schmanline. Anyway, thanks for sending it to me; it was great to have you on the show. I hope you find a lovely prom date. The rest of you, send your actually embarrassing childhood photos to josh@heyjosh.com.

So, there it is. Patience, perseverance, and evites are where it’s at when it comes to making friends. At least, I think so. What’s YOUR advice on moving, making new friends, and dealing with difficult roommates? If any of you have tried out earplugs to block out snoring so you can sleep over your roommates ruckus, let Kelsey know how that worked out for ya. Could be a lifesaver.

Until next time,

// josh

P.S. Rachel, thanks for the embarrassing childhood picture; sorry for the bad print job. I hope we can still be friends. The rest of you, send your embarrassing childhood photos to josh@heyjosh.com.

Glad you asked:

I’m guessing you know what’s coming next: that’s right! it’s YOUR turn. What’s your advice for Zacharia and Ashley? How would you (or have you) handled similar situations in your life?

In your face, but on your side,

// josh

P.S. This week’s embarrassing childhood photo definitely takes things to a whole new level. Dig out those photos of you from when you were an infant (or, you know, last week) where you’re trying to smile and it comes off looking more like a grimace on a scared chimpanzee. The world wants to see those pics. Send ‘em to me at josh@heyjosh.com.

Alright, young earthling—time for a little personal reflection. One way or another, I’m guessing you’ve dealt with these issues in your own life, so I’d love to hear what you’ve learned in the process (as would Tessa and Alyssa). We’ve all been on both sides of the “monkey see, monkey do” imitation game, and we’ve all canned up our emotions and made ourselves miserable. What’s YOUR solution? How have you opened up to friends and family about stuff you really didn’t want to talk about? Or, if you’ve been in Tessa’s shoes, have you ever tried to help people who annoy you and, if so, how did that worked out for you?

Pardon all the questions—I’m feeling inquisitive today, I guess. If you’d rather ask a question than answer one, that’s cool, too. Bring it on.

Later,

// josh

P.S. Hey, Kristen! It’s been good seeing you and your crazy Bubba teeth in my frame—it helps remind me to brush and floss regularly. The rest of you…I imagine I’ll be seeing your embarrassing childhood photos arriving in my email inbox any day now. Please direct your photos to josh@heyjosh.com.

The party’s here every week—same time, same place, same organic goodness. Flag me down at HeyJosh.com if you have a question of you own, or give me a call at 877-HEY-JOSH. In the meantime, try your hand at slinging advice to Brandon and Gwen. What have you done to try to figure out what you want? How have you been there for a friend? Your insights are valuable…but only if you share them. Go for it. This party’s for everyone.

// josh

P.S. Amy, your childhood photo is hilarious; your glasses redefine embarrassing. Love it. Thanks for chillin’ in my frame this week. The rest of you, stop guarding your embarrassing childhood photos from the eyes of the world like your reputation depends on it, let go of your pride, and send the pics to me at josh@heyjosh.com.

And now…I punt to you: what’s YOUR advice for Isabella and Megan? Share your experience, insights, and tasty tidbits of life-giving wisdom in the comments section below.

Until next time,

// josh

P.S. Let us not forget to give Alica a well-earned pat on the back for sending in a picture of herself all gussied up as a cow. You’ve earned your place in the frame of fame. As for the rest of you…be honest, you have pictures of yourself dressed up as My Little Pony. Send your embarrassing childhood photos to josh@heyjosh.com

I’ve got a problem. And my problem’s got a name. It’s Emily.

For some reason, Emily has decided to make my life a misery. She insults me to my face, tells my friends I talk about them behind their backs, tells people lies about me, and tons of other fun stuff.

Well, recently, I realized I really liked my best friend (which was awkward at first…). Emily found out and went around telling everyone that he was disgusted and freaked out.

What do I do about this girl? I’ve tried telling her to leave me alone. I’ve tried pretending she isn’t there. But this chick is out to get me for some wacky reason

Ahh! I’m going to pull my hair out!!!  She’s driving me loony. Help! 
Becky

—

Dear Becky,

Emily is a vampire. And not the cool mysterious twilight sorta vampire. The wow-you-really-suck kinda vampire.

She, for whatever reason, sees you as a threat and therefore lobs all these attacks on you.

My advice: sometime when all is calm in the world, you need to confront her and let her know you don’t have a problem with her and ask why she is slinging crap your way.

She will either….

[A] deny it (likely)
[B] get upset and yell at you (also likely)
[C] apologize and then hug you and give you $20 (don’t count on it)

My hope is that by confronting her, you’ll take some wind out of her sails.

If all else fails, blow her off, who cares what she says, don’t let it bother you…cause if you do- she wins.

Also, I probably should have referenced garlic somehow. And wooden stakes. 

// josh

“I hate dancing and I am uncomfortable with many aspects of school dances. I have issues with crowds, strobe lights, and did I mention crowds? Severe issues. Dances make me physically sick. In the weeks leading up to dances, I develop eating problems and give up on schoolwork (even getting detention on purpose).

If I am forced to go to a dance, I have a panic attack and spazz out, shaking and whimpering, which of course makes me look rather undignified. My friends don’t understand and they probably feel insulted when I refuse to dance with them. My boyfriend accepts my fear of dances but I still feel guilty.

Telling me ‘just go to the dance’ will not help unless you think throwing up in public is a good idea. And honestly? I don’t want to change. I just want to know how to help my friends accept and understand me.”

Yo Kaela,

Agreed. Barfing in public is no good. I concur.

Your local school counselor would probably tell you to “push outside your comfort zone and live your teen years with zeal and heart and enthusiasm and my little pony.” I shall do no such thing.

Some things are critical. Some things aren’t.

Bathing = Critical
Not kicking puppies = Critical
Prom = Not critical

If you don’t want to go to prom, don’t go. It’s your call.

As to some of your friends not understanding you? Explain it to them like you explained it to me. Some will get it, some won’t. Those who do…do. Those who don’t….don’t.

The end.

// josh

I don’t really know who you are and what you stand for, but I looked at some of your advice and it looks pretty solid so now I have a pretty big question for you.

This girl at my school really loves herself and hates me for some reason. I’ve never done anything to her (at least not intentionally) but she calls me a freak. She doesn’t call it to my face  but she tells my friends, her friends, and anyone else she knows not to hang out with me because I’m a freak. We don’t run into the same social circles and I barely talk to her, but she constantly refers to me as a “goody two-shoes” and says I rig all of the school events. I’m sick of it. I love myself as a person but it still gets old and I don’t want total strangers to think the things she says are true. 

So, how do I defend myself? I have friends so I’m not alone but still. What is up? 

She’s not a model but she’s decent so no one can say she’s jealous. She comes from a good family, she’s financially supported, so what could I have done? I want her to confront me and stop calling me a freak in private. I don’t want to make enemies but I won’t deal with trash-talking. I’ve tried to confront her but she won’t let me get a word in and her friends get in my face.

A little help? What’s your take?

Holly

—

Yo Holly,

Welcome to Hey Josh. Here are my thoughts: 

Numero Uno: This chick is intimidated by you. (What? Who me?!? I’m not intimidating?!?) Uhh, you may not understand why, but my guess is that she is. Maybe you’re ok with being yourself and maybe she isn’t. Or maybe you are better liked by someone she wishes liked her. Maybe you are awesome at Guitar Hero IV and her? Not so much. 

Numero Dos: You should say something to her. Not in a “hey, I wanna knife-fight you” sorta way but in a “hey, I don’t know what I ever did to you but may I ask why you talk about me behind my back?” sorta way. And try to find a time when she isn’t surrounded by all of her friends. Chances are she’ll be shocked that you actually said something to her and hopefully it’ll shut her down. 

Remember old-school Mario Brothers? There were these ghosts in the game that chased you. That is, until you turned around and faced them. Don’t get the Mario reference? My apologies. 

Numero Tres: In life some people will like you and some won’t. Those who do? Cool. Those who don’t? Cool.

In your face, but on your side,

// josh