Hey Josh

Hey Josh…Where Did Your Advice Show Go?

Greetings and hello, young humans! I hope you enjoyed what folks call “the holiday season” and all the time off from school and work and what-not. As you may have noticed, I took a little time off myself. And not just because I’m lazy. I like to dedicate what all you cold-climate people call “winter” to things like surfing. Yes, in the ocean. At the beach. Don’t be jealous.

Anyway, I’m sorry things have been quiet over here on Wednesdays. Ye olde Advice Show of splendor has been hibernating. But it misses you. As do I. So, never fear—the Advice Show lives on, and will return shortly-ish. I’ll let you know when you can expect things to fire back up.

In the meantime, keep your questions, comments, and leftover Christmas candy coming my way.

// josh

“Jump Shipp” Premieres This FRIDAY!!

Yo,

Here’s some advice you don’t hear every day: QUIT. That’s right. Forget what you’ve heard about “winners never quitting” ’cause that’s not true–winners quit the right thing at the right time. Every week on Jump Shipp, my new hour-long reality series premiering on Halogen TV this Saturday (Oct. 24) at 2 p.m. FRIDAY at 11 p.m. EST, I’ll be intervening in the life of a young adult to help them avoid the dreaded “quarter-life crisis” by offering them a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to live out their dreams.

To find Halogen on your TV, click here. (If your cable or satellite provider is stingy and doesn’t carry Halogen, shame on them; do yourself a favor and submit a request that they start carrying it–you won’t regret it. Halogen is a new breed of television channel with big plans to do good in the world.)

Thanks for your support!

// josh

P.S. This “pilot” episode will be airing several times throughout the week, so if you miss it on Friday you can tune in on…

—Tuesday, Oct 27 at 7pm EST
—Wednesday, Oct 28 at 3pm EST
—Thursday, Oct 29 at 9pm EST
—Friday, Oct 30 at 1am EST

How to Get Your Parents to Buy You The Most Awesome Thing I’ve Ever Made

Hey You,

**HEADS UP! Tomorrow (October 21) I’m giving some crazy free stuff, so read carefully!**

You know how I have an Advice Show? And make videos? And how they’re fantastic and brilliant and praiseworthy? Well, I’ve been working on something for the past few months that trumps it all. Seriously. It’s the sweetest thing since high-fructose corn syrup. And you can get your parents to BUY IT FOR YOU, no problem. (I don’t want your hard-earned money).

This thing is all about identity, because figuring out how to deal with being labeled and establishing a solid sense of who you are is super-freaky important. And, anyone who purchases this within the first 24-48 hours is eligible to win everything from $1000 to a whole day hanging out with me in person (Yes, I’m excited, too).

So, how do you get grown-ups to get you a copy and a chance to cash in on a bounty of giveaway goodness?

Use my nifty cut-and-paste email template below. Or flex your own creative persuasion skills.

Godspeed, young human.

// josh

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THE EMAIL TEMPLATE
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Dear [THEIR NAME GOES HERE],

Research shows that adolescents, teens, and young people like me really need a positive adult influence in their lives to succeed. I know you try really hard to be that for me…so, thank you.

Anyway, teen expert Josh Shipp is releasing this amazing interactive product about dealing with being labeled and discovering your identity. And the cool thing is he’s designed it to help young people (like me) AND grown-ups (like you) work together. I really think it would be a worthwhile investment in my development, especially since I’m planning on growing up to be president, cure cancer, and generally do amazing things.

You can order it starting Wednesday, October 21 at 3 p.m. (EST) while supplies last.

Check it out here: Grownups.HeyJosh.com

Thanks again for continuing to make an investment in me. You won’t regret it.

[YOUR NAME GOES HERE]

==================
THE END
==================

A Boy, a Milkshake…and a Goat

Sometimes I stumble upon random pieces of magnificence as I peruse the interwebs. For example, this wholesome slice of artistic beauty from an Australian designer who goes by the creepy/awesome moniker ghostpatrol:

What’s not to love? A milkshake, a dagger-wielding elfin boy with inspiring fashion sense…and a goat.

If you’re anything like me and want to make this fantastic image the background on your Macbook, you’re in luck: you can find the original artwork by scrolling waaaaaay down on The Desktop Wallpaper Project presented by Kitsune Noir.

Enjoy.

// josh

Your Next Driver’s License Photo Could be Awesome, Too

Yo, it’s me, coming at you with a random piece of hilarity. A friend of mine recently went in to the DMV to get his driver’s license renewed. As many of you know/are discovering, going to the DMV isn’t typically anyone’s favorite thing to do. So my genius friend Ryan decides to have a little fun. Here’s the set up:

• Walk into DMV wearing jeans with a tuxedo shirt with rolled up sleeves and carrying a bag.
• (After waiting for an hour) go up to desk, complete paperwork, and ask for a new photo to be taken. Get approval and the forms to take to the photographer.
• Restroom break! Go to the bathroom and put on a bow tie. Pull suit jacket out of the bag and carry it on arm.
• Get a few looks. Walk up to photo area and wait turn.
• Once up against the blue screen, put on jacket and grin like an idiot, making people laugh.
• Take photo, take off jacket, and walk out.
• Wait 9 days for the new license to come in mail, open it, laugh out loud, snap a photo, and post to Facebook.

Behold:

Best driver’s license photo ever. Bonus points for the mustache.

That’s all.

Had to share.

// josh

A Hey Josh Introduction: Comic Writer “Filly” Boone

Good evening, young human! There’s someone I’d like you to meet. A few weeks ago I met a talented young female writer/comic artist who goes by the name of “Filly” Boone. When I met her, she was a bit nervous to share her work, but, seriously, she has nothing to worry about: I think she’s rad.

It’s clear to me the girl has a lot of talent and, from the looks of things, she’s just getting warmed up. I think we’ll see some cool things from this one, so keep your eye on her. Right now, she’s working on a sci-fi series called The Selection about…well, I’ll let her tell you:

“Out among the galaxies of the universe, on the planet Ambivia, it’s hard to live a common life—especially if the entire world despises you. An immigrant Royal named Lord Federico and his newly ’selected’ wife face the many challenges inherent to living at the top. As troubles brew, reality and faith create bigger conflicts than they imagined. When deeper forces begin to reveal themselves, life doesn’t become any easier…not even in an alien world.

“The Selection was inspired by nothing more than a dream and the everyday struggles between our own way and the way of one’s faith…with a lot of laughs thrown in! With the love of friends, family, and fellow supporters, this story has only just begun. And I don’t plan on stopping any time soon!”

If you’d like even MORE info, she put together this nifty little FAQ. Here’s how the story begins…

Now, go ahead: dive in and read the whole series (thus far), or check out her entire gallery over at DeviantArt.

Cool, huh? Aren’t you glad you met?

Keep it up, “Filly”!

// josh

Inc. Magazine: “Josh Shipp is one of America’s Coolest Young Entrepeneurs”

Hey You!

The weirdest thing just happened: Inc. Magazine announced it’s annual “30 Under 30″ list…and there’s a guy on there (*cough* #24 *cough*) who looks JUST like me. : )

Seriously, I’m totally flattered to find myself on this list. You can read all the nice things they said about me here. Here’s the video they posted:

Very honored,

// josh

P.S. By the way, Inc. let’s you vote for your favorite “30 Under 30″ honoree. Just sayin…

Hey Kanye, That Was Rude

Dear Kanye,

I’ll keep this short, because EVERYONE and their enraged grandmother has been calling you out for your complete lack of self control at this year’s VMA’s. Crashing the stage, swiping the microphone, and butting into Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech and then using your words to steal her spotlight and verbally punch her in the face is a really, really, REALLY jerk-like move. The adage, “better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt” comes to mind…as does Katy Perry’s tweet accusing you of “stepping on a kitten.” Nobody likes people who deliberately step on kittens.

I’m glad to see that you’ve apologized, like, fifteen times already, but—as a general rule—it’s usually better to behave yourself than apologize for being stupid. Just ask your PR manager.

Look, I hope people forgive you, but more importantly, I hope you learn to control your tongue. You’re a passionate person—that’s great (and I think we can all agree that Beyonce is a superstar)—but let’s make it a point to use our passion and use our words to add to people, not subtract from them. Deal?

In the meantime, expect consequences. For example, jokes at your expense. With a little help from kanyelicio.us—a brilliant, timely, and well-deserved “tribute” to your big mouth—I decided to give your website the Kanye-at-the-VMA’s treatment. I hope you find it hilarious.

Behold: kanyeuniversecity.com…with a twist.

// josh

A Hey Josh Book Review: Defining Twilight

Good evening, young readers. Question for ya: What recently-released pop-culture-themed workbook involves vampires, SAT vocab words, and the brilliance of a gentleman named Brian Leaf? If you answered Defining Twilight, you’re a psychic master with surprising powers. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, you’re in for a treat:

Yes, there was a surprise quiz tucked away in there, so I hope you were paying attention. First two people to answer correctly in the comments box below get a copy of the book. The rest of you get personal satisfaction. Godspeed, young human.

// josh

Hey You, Grown-ups Need Advice, Too

Hey You,

Let’s be honest—sometimes, *some* grown-ups can cause you a lot of unnecessary grief. I know—I’ve been on the receiving end of that a few times myself. But here’s the thing: most grown-ups are doing their best and mean well. Let’s face it, some grown-ups need help…especially when it comes to understanding and connecting with young humans like yourselves.

I am going to help them.

You’re welcome in advance.

I’ve created a new website to help the grown-ups in your life overcome their natural tendencies to behave clumsily around teens and become better parents, teachers, coaches, and…you know, people in general. Have a few adults in mind? Send them here: http://grownups.heyjosh.com.

I’ve made it really easy for you: Just copy and paste the nifty little email template below, personalize it a bit, and send it off to all the grown-ups in your life you think could learn a thing or two from yours truly, and I’ll take care of the rest.

CONTEST: copy (cc:) josh@heyjosh.com on your email and I’ll pick three winners at random and mail you some rad free stuff.

Thanks!

// josh

===============

Dear [THEIR NAME GOES HERE],

You are formally invited to check out this new website for “grown-ups” from teen communication expert Josh Shipp. He’s only 28, but he’s been talking to and helping out teens and young people for more than a decade. So, he’s practically a genius. Anyway, now he’s helping adults (like you) relate to teens (like me) better. There will probably be a pop quiz, so I kindly suggest you get started at your earliest convenience:

http://grownups.heyjosh.com

Enjoy!

[YOUR NAME GOES HERE]

Sneak Peek at My New TV Show “JUMP SHIPP”

Yes, it’s true! Come this fall, I’ll be on TV. And not just for another guest appearance on MTV or CNN. I’ll have my own show.

Introducing…

Jump Shipp

You can read a bit more about it on Halogen’s blog.

More about this later. Very excited.

// josh

Nielson claims Teens Don’t Tweet. Teens Tweet back: “Umm…Yes We Do.”

There’s a funny/awkward conversation going on online right now.

Here’s how it started: the research firm Nielson published a report a week ago flatly stating “Teens Don’t Tweet.” They even produced the stats to prove it.

And then a horde of teens protested their findings…using Twitter.

It’s actually pretty hilarious.

The topic “Teens Don’t Tweet” has been trending through the roof all day. (Almost 500 people have Tweeted about this topic since I started typing this post. True story.)

So, @nielsonwire…you were saying?

// josh  (twitter: @joshshipp)

Hey You, do you Tweet?

Best Twitter Joke Ever: “YouTube, Twitter, & Facebook will soon join together to form one massive social network called…YouTwitFace” –The ever-so-pale Conan O’Brien

Michael Jackson, R.I.P.

Unless you’ve been living in a cave, you’ve probably heard the news that Michael Jackson passed away this week. Michael Jackson! The King of Pop! Creator of the Moonwalk! Not Billie Jean’s lover!

Since his death, coverage of MJ has been everywhere. From MTV to CNN, everyone who’s anyone keeps talking about what an icon he was, how he changed the face of music, how he influenced the likes of Usher, Justin Timberlake, Chris Brown, and everyone in between, and how he’ll be remembered for generations. I have a feeling that we’ll be hearing about Michael Jackson’s greatness for a LONG time to come.

So the question is, why do we wait until someone is gone to truly recognize them? Celebrity or not, why do we wait until someone dies to gather everyone they love and say what an amazing person they were? Why don’t we take advantage of the time we have while people are living? What are some ways you can show those you love how much they mean to you?

Behold the CNN Interview

For your viewing pleasure, I present the one and only, exclusive Josh Shipp CNN interview. Enjoy!

Hey! It’s me! The Guy from CNN!

Welcome CNN Humans,

Good afternoon. It is I, Josh Shipp, aka Hey Josh, aka the man with crazy hair who just took over CNN for 5 minutes. Yes, I too think Anderson Cooper is awesome. 

Welcome to my site. Make yourself at home. Feel free to look around. Dig through my medicine cabinet if you want. 

Here’s a film I made about the teen/parent relationship. Loan me 10 minutes…I think you’ll benefit from watching it.  

Also, I wrote an eBook called “How to Speak a Teen’s Language Even if You’re Not One.” Hook me up with your info HERE and I’ll hook you up with a copy. It shall be my gift to you, my dearest CNN-loving friend.

Thanks for checking out the site and supporting what I do. It means a lot. 

In your face, but on your side,

// josh

“Jump Shipp” Sneak Peek

Attention TV junkies:

I just finished production on a new TV Pilot with Halogen called Jump Shipp. Me + Your TV = Magic. Check out this exclusive, behind-the-scenes look at the show…

Here I am in a room with fancy wallpaper. Note the Elvis lip curl I'm working.

Read more…

Put Words in My Mouth on CNN

UPDATE: Vote for the phrase you think I should say during my CNN interview. Hurry up….voting ends at midnight PST tonight!!

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Dearest Hey Josh Readers/Fans of News,

Warn your grandparents. I’m going to be on CNN. No, I didn’t rob a bank or give birth to 8 babies at once. They’re interviewing me for a segment called “Young People Who Rock.”

I need your help. What should I say?

Your time has come to be on the news…through me. Comment below with the funniest, wittiest, coolest, or most inspiring phrase that you’d like to hear me say on the air. The top 3 entries will be open for voting and the winner gets to hear their line on national television.

The interview is THIS Friday at 3:30pm EST. Submit your phrases ASAP in the comments below for your chance to win!

Larry King’s New BFF,

// josh

PS. If you’d like to ask me a question on the air, submit it HERE and CNN will pick a few of their favorites.

Behind-the-Scenes of “Hello, My Name is…”

Check out this awesome behind-the-scenes look at my new video, “Hello, My Name is ________” coming soon to Hey Josh!

For Your Listening Pleasure…

Hey there awesome Hey Josh readers,

Thought you might enjoy some new music to rock out to this summer courtesy of the band No Limits.

They’re from New Hampshire and everyone in the band is 18 or younger!! They were kind enough to send us their new single GIVE for you to enjoy. Check it out…

Listen to GIVE here

Now tell us, what are some ways you give back? To your community, your friends, your school, or your family? And in what ways do you wish you gave more?

And the next American Idol is….

You tell me. Who do you think is going to take the crown this year? Will it be….

…Adam and his punk rockin’ man-liner get-up…

…Or Kris and his, uh, normal-looking dudeness

Read more…

Hey Josh, Check out this act of sportsmanship!

Hey Josh!

No, this isn’t a question. But the sportsmanship displayed in this video will BLOW YOUR MIND.

Take five minutes and fifty-nine seconds out of your life to watch it. Trust me. It gives me chills.

-Becca

So, what do YOU think, Hey Josh reader? What does this video speak to you? If you were in a similar situation, how would you react? How has the kindness and selflessness of others impacted your life? In what ways have you sacrificed for those around you? Let’s get the conversation going. Sound off below.

Flip Camera Winner!!

The Flip Camera giveaway is over. The people have spoken. And Jared has won!!! Congratulations man! We hope you and your Flip are very happy together. 

Flip Camera Giveaway Finalists: VOTE NOW!

The Flip Camera giveaway is coming to a close. Thanks to everyone who entered! Behold the top 6 finalists. Their fate rests in your hands. Don’t let that power go to your head. Check out the videos & photos below and then vote for your favorite. Voting will be open until midnight on Sunday, May 17th and then one lucky guy or gal will be blowing up YouTube with their awesome new videos! 

Let the voting begin.

Read more…

When I Flip, You Flip, We Flip

Wanna win one of these??

Today’s your last chance to enter our Hey Josh Flip Camera giveaway!! Thanks to everyone who has already submitted entries. Keep ‘em coming! You have until MIDNIGHT PST TONIGHT to enter (that’s 3am for all you East Coasters!). For rules on how to enter, click here.

Voting begins THIS WEEK so check back to help us select a winner!!

Flip Clue #5 & Advice Karaoke

Hey there Delilah,

Music is a powerful thing. It makes movies more emotional, prom less awkward, and dance-offs more exciting. It also offers good advice. Don’t believe me? Behold the Hey Josh Advice Karaoke.

Today’s the last day in the Hey Josh Flip Camera giveaway! Are you ready for the fifth clue? Are you sure? Really? Ok, you asked for it.

CLUE #5: Some people call me the space ___________, some call me the gangsta of love.

Now that you’ve gathered all 5 clues, here’s what you need to do to enter for your chance to win a sweet new Flip camera.

Read more…

FLIP Clue #4

Congratulations. You have successfully made it to day 4 of our Flip camera giveaway! Not that it’s that impressive of a feat. All you’ve really had to do is come to this site for 4 days straight. Even a monkey could’ve done that. Congratulations. You are as skilled as a monkey. Can you taste the sweet victory that is only days away? Your goal of being a future YouTube celebrity is within grasp. Without further ado, I give you clue #4. And I also give you a really sweet way to ask someone to prom. Or homecoming. Or the movies. Of course,  you need to tell them that “prom” stands for homecoming or the movies. 

CLUE #4: What’s the 11th word in this video? Count very carefully. I know this is tricky since you only have ten fingers. You may need to use one of your toes.

Question of the day: If you used your Flip Camera to film a documentary, what would be it be about?

FLIP Clue #3

Hey there camera-seeking friend,

Ready for your next clue in our Flip Camera giveaway? Send a blank email to blog@heyjosh.com and the third clue will be emailed to you. Remember to keep it to yourself. You will get to share it with us all in due time, young grasshopper.

Finish this sentence: I deserve a Flip camera more than anyone on the planet because…

// josh

FLIP Clue #2 & National Foster Care Month

Hey You,

It’s time for another awesome clue in our Flip Camera giveaway! Just to clarify, you don’t need to post the answer in the comments. In fact, it’s probably better that you don’t give the answer away. Keep it to yourself and at the end of the week, when you’ve gathered all five clues, I’ll tell you what to do.

May is National Foster Care Month. Do your part. Just do something. Check out this video. I helped produce it. Impressive, no? Also, stop by Foster Club to find out ways you can help. Keep reading to find out the clue below!

Read more…

Flip Clue #1

Wanna win a sweet new Flip camera? If you answered yes, this is your lucky day. If you answered no, what is wrong with you?!

Today marks the first day of our Flip camera giveaway. Check back every day for a new clue. At the end of the week, when all 5 clues have been posted, you will receive further instructions. It’s a Flip camera for crying out loud….obviously I’m going to make you work for it!

CLUE #1: The Mino and MinoHD are shareable, designable, adaptable, remarkable and ______________.

Question of the day (not part of the contest, but just to hear your thoughts): If you won, what is the first thing you’d film with your new Flip camera??

Good luck,

// josh

Flipping out…

Don’t forget: only 3 more days until our FLIP CAMERA giveaway!! Check the site on Monday for the first of five clues and you could wind up being the proud owner of one of these… 

What would you do with YOUR Flip?

You’ll FLIP for This!

Next week, right here at ‘Hey Josh,’ we’re giving away a brand new Flip Camera to one lucky reader!! 

These cameras are AWESOME! They’re compact, easy to use, and they have a USB drive in the side so they plug right into your computer. No annoying wires. No difficult instruction book. No confusing software. You film. You import. You YouTube. You a superstar!

Here’s how it’s going to work: beginning next Monday, May 4th, we’re going to be posting a new clue EVERY DAY to the site. Check back each day to find the clue. At the end of the week, we’ll give you instructions of what to do with those clues. Winner gets the camera and the glory.

Student Review of Willow

Student Review of Willow by Julia Hoban

Review written by Kim

The first and only word that came to mind after reading this book was, “Whoa!”

Ok, you’re probably thinking I need to expand my vocabulary, but Willow is easily one of the best books I’ve read in a long time. 

I admit that when I first heard about this book from Josh Shipp and read the synopsis, I wasn’t exactly thrilled to be reading a 342-page book about cutting. It’s a touchy subject and it wasn’t something I would normally read about, but my curiosity won out in the end.

Read more…

And the Winner is…

The dude who is going to be looking dapper this prom season is…Caleb!! Congratulations bro! Way to spill your heart and still manage to incorporate a goat into your poem. We here at ‘Hey Josh’ salute you and hope you have a rad time at Prom! Don’t forget to check out our Prom Tips before the big night. 

A special thanks to Virtual Prom and Men’s Wearhouse! Caleb, be sure to check out how the digital you will look in a sweet new tux (hopefully with cane & top hat). Congrats again! Here’s an encore of the award-winning poem:

Read more…

Go to Prom!! Win a Tuxedo!!

Hey Bro,

Prom is right around the corner and I know what you’re thinking: Do I really need to rent a tux? Can’t I just shake the cheetos dust off my jeans, shine my sneakers, and call it a day? Uhhh…no. You can’t.

Let me put it in a way you can understand: A tuxedo is to prom as Chuck Norris is to butt kicking. You can’t have one without the other. So you wanna win one? A tuxedo, not a Chuck Norris.

Read more…

Will You Go To the Prom With Me?

NEED TO ASK SOMEONE TO THE PROM?

Allow me, your virtual big brother…with hair that causes eye-patch syndrome.

Send them this link: http://www.heyjosh.com/prom

And I’ll take it from there.

You’re welcome.

// josh

09 Rad Prom Tips for ‘09

01. Hygiene is important. Perhaps on prom night more than ever. Take time to bathe.

02. Rent a limo. Can’t afford a limo? Borrow your parents car. Can’t talk them into loaning it to you? Clean your car out. Your date does not want taco bell wrappers stuck to her high heels.

03. Avoid the urge to dance in the center of a circle of prom-goers at all costs unless a) you are Justin Timberlake, b) you are blatantly trying to be funny, or c) you want your date to ignore you the rest of the night.

Read more…

Prom Week Has Begun…

Welcome to Prom Week here at Hey Josh. We’re so glad you’ve joined us. Pull up a chair and make yourself comfortable. Here are some of the exciting things we have in store for you this week:

1. ADVICE! Your biggest promlems + my wicked mad advice-slinging skills = A Happy Prom For Everyone!

2. Need some help asking that really hot/cool/funny/smart/popular/talented guy or girl you’ve been crushing on all year to go to the prom with you? Allow me. I have absolutely no fear of rejection. 

3. Giveaways!!!! One lucky guy will be tuxedo-clad for absolutely NO charge this year and one lucky gal will be all gussied up for free! That’s right folks, we’re giving away a tuxedo rental and a prom dress! Stay tuned for contest details!

4. Prom Tips: Should I rent a limo? What if I can’t find a date? How important is personal hygiene? I’ve got tips for all your biggest prom conundrums.

5. And More. I can’t tell you what the “more” is. You just need to keep checking out Hey Josh every day this week for the goods. 

Your Friendly Neighborhood Prom Wizard,

// josh

What’s Your Prom-lem?

It’s that time of year again. Time for glamorous gowns, slow dancing under the stars, and goats in tuxedos. That’s right….it’s PROM WEEK here at Hey Josh. Beginning next Monday, April 13th, I’ll be here everyday answering your PROM-lems (get it? Prom + Problem = Promlem. Why aren’t you laughing?), offering helpful prom advice (never, EVER try to drive to prom on goatback. Trust me), and giving away a brand new prom dress and tux rental to two lucky blog readers (seriously!).

So here’s what I need from you:

1. Send me your biggest prom-related dilemmas. Post your questions in the comments below and I’ll be slinging some much-needed prom advice your way. Don’t hold back. I’m your source for wisdom on renting a tux, buying a corsage, reserving a limo, finding a date, learning sweet dance moves, and figuring out a way to say no to that creepy, twitchy-eyed Chem partner who keeps asking you to go with him. 

2. Stop by the blog every day next week for your chance to win some great prizes! 

3. Tell your friends, tell your enemies, tell the most prom-challenged kid in your school about Prom Week at Hey Josh. Send us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to break dance. 

// josh

Oh my i!!

Your iPhone or iPod is good to you. You be good to it.

I found this nifty device called an iBend that supports your iPhone or iPod so you can comfortably watch a movie on a plane, train, or goat.

Read more…

Consider your bag pimped

The bribing has been done. The votes have been cast. The crowd has spoken. Now the bags will be pimped. Congratulations to the 3 well-deserving winners of the ‘Hey Josh’ Pimp My Bag contest and the soon-to-be proud owners of a brand new TEAMWORK bag. I’m sure you’ll be very happy together. And the winners are…

Read more…

Creative fans + Gifts = Awesome

Every now and again, the great readers of Hey Josh send some pretty sweet fan paraphernalia my way. Allow me to take this moment to thank you for sending me your rad videos, pictures, drawings, and various livestock. If I had a nickel for every goat I’ve received with the words ‘Josh is awesome’ branded on its backside, I’d be swimming in a sea of shiny silver. A special shout-out to Courtney and Alexandra for the awesome video and drawing.

Keep ‘em coming.
// josh 

Read more…

Pimp my bag finalists: Bribe Your Friends

Hey You,

Allow me to introduce you to the six finalists of the Hey Josh PIMP MY BAG contest brought to you by the attractive folks at TEAMWORK BAGS. Each finalist submitted a picture of their current pathetic attempt at a bag and an explanation as to why they deserve a pimped out Teamwork Bag.

Here’s how it works: You, the great readers of Hey Josh, get to vote for your favorite finalist. The Top 3 Vote-getters receive the glory of a new bag. Voting lasts until next Monday. Vote now. Bribe your friends. Bribe America.

Behold the finalists:

Read more…

The Petition to Stop Facebook Cartoon Tagging

I was tagged on Facebook recently. Sweet.

Although instead of a picture of me holding up my 5th grade book-it trophy what I saw was a line up of cracked out eighties cartoon characters with my tag over one entitled “The Slow One.”

Thanks “dear friend” who tagged me.  Whoops I just deleted you.

Let us examine the image that has swept the FB super highway:

Read more…

Student Movie Review: WATCHMEN

By Jessica Ruhl
The Nebraska Film Critic

Alright here is what i thought of Watchmen…

First off, I didn’t get into the movie at all. In the beginning, it didn’t capture me as an audience member whatsoever. I went into the theatre not knowing anything about this comic novel, and although I love comics, this was definitely was not one of the  greatest movies.

Secondly, there was WAY too much nudity and too much sex in it! I understand that it was a “R” rated movie but honestly it was too much for me. I have been to one or more “R” rated movies and that was borderline nasty. I also know that Dr.Manhattan was supposed to be “revealing”  but they could’ve shown just the waist up for most of it and then once in a while showed a full body shot.

Read more…

Hey Josh, Pimp My Bag!

Ladies & Gentlemen,

The Youth of America are facing an epidemic.

Am I speaking of the massive national debt you’ll be faced with when your adults?

Oh no.  Something far more serious.

Way too many of you are sporting crappy school bags.  And it must stop now.

I have joined forces with TeamWork Bags who make super sweet bags made from salvaged sails and tire tubes.

We are giving away a TeamWork Bag to THREE lucky winners.

PIMP MY BAG! CONTEST DETAILS:

1. Comment below with TWO SENTENCES on why you deserve to win a righteous TeamWork Bag.

2. Email a picture of your current crappy bag to: heyjoshtv@gmail.com  (the more creative the better)

3. On Monday (the 16th) we shall choose six finalists. One week of bribing your friends to vote for you, top 3 peeps win a bag.

To life, liberty, and bags of awesomeness.

// josh

VOTE NOW: Hey Josh Community Service Project

Thank you to everyone who submitted ideas for the first ever HEY JOSH community service project.

Please vote below for your favorite idea and then we shall knock it out.

Bombard Random Person with Thank You Emails

* I’m thinking we find a random person and wish them happy birthday. Or say thanks to a teacher who really makes a difference…something like that.

Save the Goats!

* We would promote www.worldwildlife.org via our FaceBook status, etc and encourage people to adopt an animal and promote awareness for this cause.

School Supplies for Foster Kids

* This idea actually came from my foster mom.  We all have school supplies we don’t use or need…give them to someone who can use em.

Voting will last for one week. Get on it.

shank you pencil. shank you animation. domo arigato, mr. roboto.

// josh

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The HEY JOSH Community Service Project

I have an idea. But I need your help.

I’ve been thinking about the idea of us (me, you, the random HEY JOSH fan in Switzerland- hi Lukas) doing a community service project together.  But completely online.

I’ve got a few ideas, but nothing is really slapping me in the face with brilliance at the moment.

Maybe we could….

Flood somebody with Happy Birthday Emails
eBay our used sweaters and give the money to a good cause
Write letters to a random elementary school class

I would love to hear your ideas.  What could we do? I’d like it to be something fun, easy, and that would make a difference.

Here’s how it will work.

1. You comment below with brilliant ideas.
2. After a week of submissions, I’ll pick out three ideas.
3. We shall vote.
4. We shall do.

Legit.

// josh

The V-Day Gift Giving Matrix

I’m reposting a lil something I brewed up for my friends at I HEART DAILY.  BTW- if you’re of the female species and don’t subscribe to I HEART DAILY, I fear for your livelihood.  Behold.

Ladies,

Valentine’s day is quickly approaching and I’ve heard that some of you are confused as to whether or not it’s too soon to bestow a gift upon your beloved.  Fear Not. I have designed a simple graph that will answer all of your questions.

Just started dating.  He forgets how to spell your name.  Get him a card at least.

He verbally confirms you are his girlfriend in a group of peers. VICTORY!

He makes awkward statements about things he’s “feeling” for you.  Then blames feelings on lunch.

His mother loves you because now that he’s in a ‘relationship’ he showers regularly.

You know he’s deathly afraid of jell-o and he still sleeps with his baby blanket.  Aww…

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Thank You New Jersey + MIT!

Site of Knowledge Attack

I had a glorious weekend.  I hope you did too.

Round one of glory.  I spoke at the Elks Peer Leadership Conference in New Jersey.  It was cold, that made me cry.  But the event was great, and…wait for it…cheesy transition…the people were warm.

Random Gig Fact: There is rumor swirling about that I asked the concierge for for cold-cuts and lettuce.  This is nothing more than a vicious rumor started by the liberal media.

Round two of glory.  MIT.  Boston, MA.  Anne, thanks for organizing a great evening, and I hope the students continue to process my lecture on Bio-Nuclear Scandinavian Diagnostics and goats.

Random Gig Fact: There is an unspoken hero in this gig.  The student who pointed me towards the auditorium while I was wondering about campus lost, lonely, and slightly perplexed.  I thank you, the students of MIT thank you, America thanks you.

Don’t forget to have your pets spayed or neutered.

// josh

PS. The two videos I mentioned: http://www.heyjosh.com/date & http://www.heyjosh.com/breakup

Game. Set. Match. West Mifflin.

Dearest West Mifflin,

It is finished. You crushed it. 

You gathered/bribed/threatened/inspired/recruited/bullied 2,000+ members and I shall reward you with a bountiful evening of knowledge, laughter, films, & goats.

We’re working out the goats thing…apparently they eat a lot and are not considered carry on.

Rachel Mauer, you were the ring leader/Barry Bonds/wizard/ninja of this movement. Congrats / please be my campaign manager when I run for President.

(Why is he using so many slashes?)

I shall leave you with a photo of yours truly in your HEY JOSH TOUR paraphernalia.

For those of you who, ahem, lost this challenge at the fist of West Mifflin.  Fear not.  The Hey Josh Tour will go nationwide quite soon and when we are ready to do such, I shall yell out my car window to notify you.

Good evening.

// josh

West Mifflin is Almost to 1,500!?

Ok, how on earth is West Mifflin doing this?! They are WAY in the lead for the Hey Josh Facebook Tour.  So The Hey Josh Investigatory Team went to their site to research what tactics they are using.  Is it performance enhancing drugs?  Is it Wheaties?  Are they bribing new members to join by offering exotic spices?  Well, it appears that they are importing West Mifflin High School Students from all around the country, which is a ‘creative’ way to pad the numbers.  But then we saw the real reason.  They made “Join the Hey Josh Facebook Group” T-Shirts!  How can you be mad at this dedication?!  Kudos to you West Mifflin.  It looks like we’ll be seeing you very soon if you keep up this pace.

(BTW – If you send a shirt to Josh, I’m sure he’ll invite a few more people to join the group!)

How to Enjoy Your Date When Mom or Dad Chaperone – Part 2

Did you really think we’d leave you hanging?

Last time, we discussed how to put things in perspective and get your own space when this unthinkable situation rears its ugly head. Check out two more ways to handle your biz with Mom or Dad, while effectively getting to know the new hottie in your life.

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Manchester, NH + A treasure hunt

I was in Manchester, NH (yes it was 9 degrees) this morning slinging advice about money, cash & goats for Jump$tart financial.  Big shout out to Dan Hebert for organizing such a great event!

Also while I was there I met Braun Mincher, who is creating a Morgan Spurlock-style documentary on the importance of financial literary in high school. They were desperate for talent, so naturally they asked me to be interviewed on camera.

Thanks to all the students who made it to the event. Please don’t beat me up Austin.

And now to the treasure hunt.  I have placed a box of sweet glorious treasure in your town.  Below are two clues.

This is what the box looks like:

This is where the box is located:

How to Enjoy Your Date When Mom or Dad Chaperone – Part 1

So you’ve met someone you’re really into. They’ve got the 4 things you look for: hot looks, cool personality, book smarts, and a hilarious disposition. Bingo! You’re in there like swimwear.

Now it’s time to go on that first date and who insists on coming along but Mom or Dad. Ugh! The agony! How are you supposed to get your groove on when the ‘rents are tagging along?? Sure, they may be needed to chauffeur you around, but you know their main motive is to chaperone. Of course they have your best interest at heart and they know you’re responsible, but it can be irritating when you’re trying to do your own thing. Here’s how to make the best of this unfavorable situation:

• Put it in perspective for them. Remind Mom or Dad that you are on an actual date. That means no embarrassing stories about how you used to fart to the tune of Mary Had a Little Lamb when you were a little eight years old.

• Get some space. Let Mom or Dad know that you are attempting to get to know your new boo, and you can’t do that if they are going to be all in your business during the date. One of my first dates was at a concert. My mom and older sis came along but Mom purchased their tickets all the way on the other side of the arena. The only time we saw them was before and after the concert. It worked out great. If you’re going to the movies, ask Mom or Dad to sit in another theatre or see something else. That way, you both get what you want. You get to have your space and Mom or Dad get to tag along and make sure things are going smoothly.

Join us for Part 2 of this series where we will discuss how to establish a code and be cool with Mom or Dad just a stone’s throw away from you and your date. Ciao!

Love Story: Terminated

Okay I said I found the most addictive thing on the internet. I lied. THIS IS!

Making short cartoon films on the internet.  At first I was all, why would I want to do that?  And then when I realized the potential for hilarity, I was all, why would I NOT want to do that?   And the best part is it’s really simple and endlessly fun. Essentially all you have to do is pick who you want to look like and type the dialogue in the IM-looking boxes.  But it can be a little more nuanced should you choose, and even that is addictive.  Pick a score! Throw in some well-timed looks to the camera!

Of course the best way to do it (and what I’ve been doing for days on end) is to recreate conversations between me and my friends. Even if it’s totally boring stuff, it will be inherently hilarious because you sound like robots. TRUST. Of course it’s even funnier when it is something of comedic value.

So none of the ones I made would make any sense to you, so I decided to cross-promote THE BEST SITE EVER with Josh’s Awesome Break Up Vlog. (We at Hey Josh are not above shameless synergy.)

It’s a tragic love story between a ninja and a terminator.  With a message.  Enjoy.

Track 07 has a name, too, you know

Your music collection is a mess. It’s ok — so were ours…before we found the TuneUp Companion for iTunes.

TuneUp is your music collection’s new best friend. It was created for music lovers, by music lovers and it has one purpose, and one purpose only: to make iTunes more awesome. And it’s free.

You know Track 07 of Unknown Album by Unknown Artist  — the one that hangs out near the bottom of your iTunes music library like the ugly step-cousin to all your other songs? It has a name, too, you know…and TuneUp will find it for you automatically. It’ll also find your missing cover art (because Cover Flow is totally lame when you’re scrolling through those gray music notes), and display links to YouTube videos, news, and merch from all your favorite artists. Want to catch a live show? TuneUp’s got your back — just plug in your address and it’ll tell you whenever one of the bands in your library is playing in your area. Give it a try — you won’t know how you’ve lived without it.

Check out the demo video to see TuneUp in action:

Why No Brotherhood?

Okay, the two “girls-in-jeans” flicks, a.k.a. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, have officially made TTRM (Through The Roof Money) at the box office. And yeah, that’s okay, because the stories are great, if a little mushy (that swelling music stuff tries a little too hard to force you to cry) and the four main characters are realistic in a way that you don’t see in many Hollywood movies.

But here’s a thought: these movies are great at pulling girls into the theaters, and maybe a few boys who want to date those girls…but isn’t Hollywood ignoring a big chunk of the ticket-buying audience by not doing movies like this for guys? Wait, I know what you’re saying: “Guys don’t share pants.” That’s too true. But I still can’t help thinking there’s a hole in the movie market that needs to be filled. Tell us what you think of these guy-friendly ideas:

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First You Get The Death Ray, Than You Get The Power!

Have you ever wanted your own death ray? Who hasn’t? New Zealand inventor and Weta Workshop Designer, Greg Broadmore, has put together a collection of replica ray guns to complement his online comic series. The actual pieces sell for a few thousands dollars each. But when you are hunting intergalactic nerf herders you should accept no substitute. Check out the comic. It’s free.  I like this one because it uses the word “moon-tard.”

Gonna dress you up in my virtual love.

Hey girls! I’ve found the most addictive thing on the web. If you love clothes, interactive websites and all things cute (read: Japanese) then Poupée (French for doll–pronouced “pu-PAY”) is a must-click!

You can make an avatar that looks just like you, go shopping, earn spending money and create chic, original looks and post your looks on the site blog so everyone can see how great you look. (Beware: You will get hooked for HOURS!) Below is your trusty blogger in a sleek A-line dress and smashing knee highs!

Contest: Time to get creative, gals. How sharp is your fashion styling? Send us your most excellently dressed avatars AND a picture of yourself styled like your virtual paper doll and the picture that looks most like their avatar wins! Is the prize paper dolls, you ask? No! A swag bag of the best in Japanese style, of course…fun things from Hello Kitty, Harajuku Lovers treats, and some wildly hip Japanese fashion magazines.

Go ninja go ninja go!

I always feel that my life is not “ninja-esque” enough. I never seem to get enough “creep silently in the inky cover of darkness while stalking my chosen prey” time, no matter how much effort I put into clearing my schedule of other non-important, trivial things (i.e. going to work, going to class, eating). I’ve never even had a showdown at dawn’s first light, to where there can be only one victor.

Right now I’ve placated myself by trying to obtain as many ninja accessories I can get my hands on. I even have some sweet throwing star magnets, but admittedly, the effect is sort of lost when they are used to pin up pizza coupons to the fridge.

So what I want to know is this: how do you become a ninja? I need a tutor. Upload your Youtube video giving me some instruction and the one that I think explains it best, well, I’ll upload a video of my own following your advice. I need direction.

You’re the sensei now. I am but the student. Lead me.

Image of Raphael courtesy of Adrian Sampson, via Creative Commons.

Shake it like a Polaroid Picture. (Or not.)

Have you heard the news, gang? I don’t like to talk about it because it upsets me too much, but, in case you haven’t heard, Polaroids are going the way of the Dodo bird. That’s right. Kaput. Dunzo. No mas. Good-bye forever, instant film.

Anyway, for all of you who share my grief, I have some good news for you, other obsessed individuals can now make their own Polaroids online–for free! All you have to do is download the free Polaroid maker and drag your pictures in!

Now, this will never make up for having a real Polaroid in your hand, but it is ridiculously fun and awesome to make your digital photos into Polaroids! Go there and live the fun now!

Here is an example of one, starring my bunny, below:

And now it’s time to show and tell! Tell us about your favorite Polaroid picture you have and why it could never be as awesome with a digital camera. AND send us your Fauxlaroids! We want to be tricked into believing that they’re the real thing.

No Cats Were Hurt In The Writing Of This Post

I spend a lot of time trying to figure out whether I should be friends with someone or not.  Are they a good person?  Will they be there when I need them?  Will this friendship last?  It’s difficult stuff to figure out, and only today have I come up with a way to solve the problem.  Instead of trying to figure out someone’s personality or look deep into their soul, I just show them this video and see what they say.

If someone doesn’t like a video of a cat in a box with Japanese writing on it, I’m just not sure the friendship is going to work.  Think about it:  what kind of person would not find this funny.  Since I posted the video, I watched it two more times.  It’s a cat jumping into a box.  No one gets hurt, and you get to see little cat legs sticking out of a box.  Everyone wins.

The Teen Queen Scene

MTV has released its list of “Teen Queens Who Ruled 2008.” And you won’t be surprised to see singing sensation and green girl Miley Cyrus top the list, followed by High School Musical’s Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Tisdale, Twilight’s Kristen Stewart, and several other starlets.

But what about the teens who changed the world in ’08 for good? They may not have produced huge pop records or pranced around in skimpy clothes, but if being a queen meant being in charge (think Queen Elizabeth, not Queen Latifah), these three teens might have been made for the monarchy:

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FTW? Vampirates

I was shopping at a Borders the other day. Has anyone else noticed that they are closing a lot of them down? Of course I go straight for the discount bin to see what treasures will unveil themselves for $1.99. I come across this book called Vampirates! Yes, you heard me right. They are one part pirate, one part vampire. Honestly, at first, I couldn’t stop laughing. My initial impression was that this book, its author, and anyone who has ever been within five feet of a copy are completely made of awesome.

But then it occurred to me, vampires would make the worst pirates in the world. First off they can’t be out in the day. That makes sailing anywhere very hard. Secondly, there are old vampire myths about how they can’t cross water by themselves. In Bram Stokers’ book Dracula had to stay boarded up on his way to England. They tend to freeze up and are unable to move. So now I’m thinking, bring it on. I could take on like fifty of these guys.

So I have two questions for you:
1. Are these guys awesome or lame?
2. How many vampirates do you think you could take?

Here is a link to the official website. You can read excerpts from each of the four books online.

Twisting Our Native Tongue

Engrish is misused English. It usually happens when Japanese designers and advertisers try to use English on their products to “look cool” and end up writing really funny (and often shockingly inappropriate) things on T-shirts, store fronts, and packaging. The best part is that Japanese consumers often buy and use such products without ever realizing that anything’s amiss.

For example, the pastor of a small church on Ie Jima often wore a T-shirt covered in nonsensical English phrases laced with profanity. (No one had the heart to tell him what it said — he’d received the shirt as a Father’s Day present and it was one of his favorites.)

Here in the U.S., Engrish.com has been the go-to spot for butchered English hilarity. Just to give you a taste…

Scour the internet and let us know the most ridiculous Engrish phrase you found!

Never, Ever Hassel the Hoff

All Hoff, all the time! We here at Hey Josh are pleased to present the Hoff Bag! Don’t act like you haven’t contemplated purchasing this amazing Hoff kit every time you stop by the Hasselhoff website. All the Hoff gear you’ve ever dreamed about owning is now available for the low, low price of $39.95. The Hoff Bag is complete with a “Don’t Hassel the Hoff” t-shirt, “Hoff Stuff” headband and wristbands, Hoff love dice, bling ring, drink holder, drink opener, and the Hoff wig. The first person to submit a photo of themselves wearing all of this Hofftastic gear in a public place will win absolutely nothing but the satisfaction of being completely awesome. We’re sure you’ll be the envy of all of your friends!

Adventures In Poorly Focused Anger

We’ve all had our bad days.  The stream of sort of annoying events starts early and then all of a sudden, you’re at a store’s cash register after spending an hour shopping and you realize you’ve forgotten your wallet.  You might say “This is the worst day ever”, but hopefully, you know you don’t mean it.  There have been worse days and there will certainly be other bad ones to come, but as long as there are more good days than bad, everything will be alright.  Things don’t have to be perfect, but as long as you don’t flip out over one of the silly little bad things that happen on a bad day everything will be ok.This is the story of someone who didn’t make it through the day.

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Informationage Discoverage

We know you care about what’s going on in the world, but we also know you’ve only got so much time to investigate.  NPR, or National Public Radio, feels your pain, and they offer reverbiage.com as an apology for being that super-talky radio station your parents subject you to in the car.

Reverbiage.com gives a rundown of headlines that  matter to the world and matter to you.  The website isn’t flashy, but it lets you jump to exactly the stories that you want to read.  They’re short, sweet, and tell you what you need to know.

Whether you hear something interesting or have a Current Events quiz coming up in History class, check out reverbiage.com.  We suggest that you then proceed to freak out your parents at dinner by commenting on “that interesting NPR story about new federal banking regulations in the economic downturn.”   Please report to us on any spewed meatloaf.

Chess Boxing

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, chess boxing is a real sport. It involves three minute rounds of boxing interwoven with three minute rounds of playing chess. You win when either your opponent is knocked out or you checkmate them. To make things better it is German in origin so you get lots of screaming Germans too.

This is awesome. There hasn’t been a combination this good since chicken and waffles.

If You Hit The Other Person, You’re Doing It Wrong

When the Philadelphia Eagles beat the Dallas Cowboys on Sunday, it was an exciting time for the team’s fans.  The Eagles won a game against their rivals and made the playoffs in the process.  If the fans were going crazy with excitement during the game, imagine what it must have been like to be the team’s owner, Jeffrey Lurie.  The Eagles scored and he’s in the owner’s box giving out high fives to everyone around him, and well, that’s when things went a little off course.

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Color me 2009.

You may not know Pantone by name, but it is the system for matching paint colors.

So did you know that every year they announce a color of the year? Yeah, me neither. And check it out, gang. This is it:

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Happy New Year!

Happy New Year and Welcome to HeyJosh.com!

Browse around and check out the new blog!  Don’t forget to watch the Hey Josh short film FACTORY for free.  We’d love to hear from you, so make sure you comment on the stuff you like and make lots of suggestions about how we can make the site better.

And of course, at any time you can click on “Ask Josh” to ask for some advice.  Each day Josh will be slinging daily advice that is ‘in your face, but on your side.’

Enjoy!

That’ll wake the neighbors

It’s wintertime, which means that it’s time to get out the old sled. Or if you’re Ky Michaelson, known in some circles as the “Rocketman”, it’s time to attach a rocket onto to your old sled and drag race along the sidewalks of your suburban Minneapolis neighborhood.

Ky’s sled includes a speedometer, a custom steering rig and a bottle motor mount. But more importantly, his website also includes sweet pictures of the sled in action.

It goes without saying that this is something you should not try at home, even if you happen to be a rocket scientist with too much time on his hands.

He Didn’t Do It!

I love coming across stuff like this on the web. Some town board somewhere gets fed up with people pasting posters (a.k.a. “bills”) and slapping stickers on public property, and so they go to all the trouble of making up a nice sign informing those hooligans that, if the keep sticking stuff up, they’re going to be in “Big trouble, mister!” Then along comes some wise guy or gal, and manages to, once again, turn the whole thing into a joke. Hey, I don’t condone or approve of grafitti… but I think that this Bill Stickers dude has definitely gotten a bad rap. I mean, why blame just one guy? I’d love to see people wearing “Free Bill Stickers” buttons on their jackets this year, or putting “I Support Bill Stickers” magnets on their lockers. It just could be the start of a global movement.

I hereby resolutionize…

It’s that time of year again.  The time of year when your nearby fitness centers release really, really bad local commercials about New Year’s resolutions.  We thought we’d join in the optimism by thinking of a few resolutions ourselves.

Here’s a few things I plan to start doing more of in 2009:

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